James Vs Severus
by thelightningstrike
Summary: OLD & DISCONTINUED.
1. First Argument

Lily

I agreed to go out with James Potter yesterday. It hasn't quite sunk in yet. It's all been such a blur. First, he approached me as usual in the common room, but for some reason, it was empty of everyone but me and him. He was chatting about things, messing his hair up at the back, clearly embarrassed, and then just came out with it. He practically begged. I don't know why I did it, but I just found myself stuttering yes. He was obviously ready for me to say no, and the look on his face when I didn't. It was like Christmas had come early! He picked me up and spun me round, which I must say I found fun, then took my hand and whirled me out of the common room.

We walked for ages, just holding hands, talking about things. It felt, comfortable. My hand seemed to fit his, and I began to see him in a new light. His arrogance peeled away in layers, and he became nicer, kinder, more beautiful than any other boy I had ever seen. I had evidently made a bad judgement about James Potter. I'm determined to make up for it.

We came back eventually to the common room, which was now packed full. No one seemed to notice us creep in, until Sirius spotted us. "Potter got Evans!" he screamed. Suddenly everyone was crowding round us, jostling to get to James, to ask him how he finally won me over. Sirius disappeared for a while, and came back, arms full of Honeydukes sweets, and butterbeer. I couldn't believe all the attention. James seemed to thrive in it. He sat me down next to him, and kept looking at me with awe-filled eyes. Remus told me it was because he simply couldn't believe his luck.

The party promised to continue well into the early morning, if it wasn't for the head of Gryffindor, charging in at one. She gave James, Sirius, Lupin, and Peter detention, and then when I tried to speak up for them she gave me one too. Then James started to argue with her, and she sent us all up to bed. That night I dreamt of him.

This morning I thought that everything was a dream, but discovered it wasn't when I found James patiently waiting to go down to breakfast with me in the common room. He took my hand again, and we walked down to the Great Hall together. We'd just passed the Slytherin table when something flew past us, trailing large sobbing sounds behind. It was Severus. I felt so guilty.

Everyone in the Great Hall was staring at us make our way to our seats, so James suggested we just grab a stack of toast and go for a walk. I followed him, glad to escape all the turned heads.

We went to sit down by the lake, watching the giant squid propel itself lazily up and down. I put my head on James shoulder, and he stroked my hair. I felt so guilty for Severus, but so glad I had found James. We went back up to the castle after an hour or so. James needed to go to Quidditch practice, and was desperate for me to go and watch him, but I said I had homework. He looked worried that he'd lost me already, so I reached up and kissed him softly. He smiled, oddly dazed, and started off in the wrong direction to the Quidditch pitch.

I went to find Severus. I found him in the library, slumped over a book, his shoulders shaking. I put my hand on his shoulder.

"Sev?" I said softly, calling him a name I hadn't used in years.

"Leave me alone, Evans, I don't want to talk to you."

"Severus, look, I'm sorry I said yes, but you're just going to have to get over it. We can still be friends. You're still my best friend, and I hope I'm still yours."

"As if I'd want to be best friends with a mudblood," he spat, then clapped his hands to his mouth. "Oh Lily, I'm sorry, please, please don't take offence, I don't mind that you're going out with him, honest, please, Lily."

"That's not the first time you've said that, Severus. You're starting to get a bit repetitive."

"Lily, I'm sorry. Honestly, I am. To prove it, I'll never badmouth James again."

"I don't care who you badmouth, Severus. It doesn't change anything. You can't keep calling me that and expecting to get away with it."

"Please, Lily, please." He was sobbing now, trying to take my hand in his.

"I've got to go, Severus. I have a detention with James, Sirius, Peter and Remus because we were celebrating a little too loudly last night."

"I've got a detention too, because I was laid in front of the Gryffindor portrait hole last night and your head of house tripped over me. Please let me come with you."

"Why were you outside my common room last night?"

"I heard rumours… I wanted to see if they were true."

"About me and James, you mean? Well, I can tell you that. It's true, true, true as true can be. I'm going out with him and I don't _care _what you think. You shouldn't care about _me_, either. After all, I'm only a mudblood."

With that I flounced off. The detention was in 2 hours, so I headed back to the common room. That's where I am now. Writing my diary. I'm still angry with Severus, but he will always be my best friend. I'm glad I agreed to go out with James for some reasons, but others, not so. I didn't realise it was going to jeopardise my friendships so easily. I hoped this wasn't going to be a James vs. Severus scenario. I honestly wouldn't know who'd win right now.


	2. Charms

Charms

After the detention (a 10 things I'm thankful for list this time) we headed back to the common room. I needed to catch up on homework so we took chairs by the fire and worked on our transfiguration. It was nice to have someone to help, especially as James, Sirius, Remus and Peter are all really good at it. Especially James. He transfigured his quill into a stick, then an orange, then back to a quill. He's almost as good as a professor!

We worked on charms next, and it was my turn to help them. We worked solidly through our homework until it was done, so we would have nothing to bother us tomorrow, as it was a Hogsmeade trip, being a Sunday. James said he has a surprise for me tomorrow. I can't wait!

After our homework we just sat talking. The common room slowly emptied, eventually taking Sirius, Remus, and Peter with it. 

"Lily?" James said softly.

"Yes?" I woke up abruptly. I'd fallen asleep with my head resting on James lap. He'd been stroking my hair again.

"I know we haven't been together very long, but…"

"Yeah, about a day, James," I teased, flipping onto my back to smile up at him.

"Yeah, well anyway, I just thought I'd tell you, I…" he paused and ruffled his hair, "Umm, I love you, Lily," he said sincerely.

I sat up abruptly. "Seriously?"

"Yes, Lily, I've never been more sure. I'm in love with you, and I… I want you to have this." He handed me an intricate silver charm bracelet, with a little silver stag hanging from it delicately. It was beautiful.

"Oh James. It's beautiful. Why- why the stag?"

"Well, I was going to give it to you tomorrow, after the surprise. You'll have to wait for the surprise to find out."

There was a pause. James fastened it around my wrist.

"I love you too, you know" I said, and kissed him.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling my head against his chest in a warm hug. "You can't imagine how long I've waited to hear that."

"I'm sorry. If I'd known it'd be like this, I'd have said yes long ago."

"At least we're together now. That's all that matters."

I kissed him once more, and then departed to the girls staircase, leaving him in a daze.

I combed my hair in a tearing rush, desperate to get down to James. He was sat in the same armchair as usual, waiting. He smiled and kissed me, then we walked down to breakfast, my bracelet jingling on my arm. 

After eating his customary fry up, Sirius, James and I walked down to Hogsmeade. Remus wasn't going, ill again, and Peter had a detention.

We had hot butterbeers in The Three Broomsticks, and then headed down to the Shrieking Shack. It was fun just the three of us, we were only just getting to know each other properly after all. 

"It's time for your surprise, Lily." Sirius pulled of his Gryffindor scarf and proceeded to tie it tightly around my eyes.

"Ouch, Sirius! What's going on?" I screamed, feeling for James. 

"It's okay Lily, I'm here," said James, but I heard footsteps going away.

"Don't leave me…" I yelled. Suddenly my outstretched hands fell upon some sort of furry thing. I froze, unsure what to do. Instinct weirdly told me to carry on feeling. I worked my hands up what seemed to be a long, smooth neck, to the head of this weird animal. I felt its long face, stroked its velvet ears. Then I touched something hard. "Oh!" I yelped. _Antlers._ It was a stag.

The animal vanished as quickly as it came, and someone was untying my blindfold. I fell into James' open arms, shaking hard. "What was that?" I asked.

"Lily, I'm sorry you were scared. You mustn't ever be scared of anything when you're with me."

"You weren't there. I heard you and Sirius go." 

"You heard Sirius go. I was always here."

"You transfigured…?"

"No. I was, sorry, I _am _the stag. I'm an Animagus."

My arms fell to my sides. I stared at him. He looked anxious, obviously worrying he'd told me too much.

"Can I… Can I see?"

Relief spread across his face. "Of course." And he transformed. He was my boyfriend, and then suddenly a stag. A beautiful, shimmering brown stag, with the kindest hazel eyes. I threw my arms around it's neck, and he transformed back. He smiled down it me. "So, it's okay then? Me being a stag, and everything?"

I kissed him. "Who else knows?" 

"Sirius, Peter, Lupin. That's it." 

"Why do they know?"

"Sirius!" James yelled.

A great black dog came trotting into the clearing. I yelped and moved behind James. The black dog bounded up to me and licked my face. Suddenly, there was Sirius.

"Oh my… Sirius! You're an Animagus too!"

"We all are. What do you think?" he laughed.

"It's amazing! How did you do it?"

The boys looked at each other and smirked. "A hell of a lot of studying," they said simultaneously.

"Are you registered? Or do I need to even ask that question?"

James looked uncomfortable, but Sirius laughed, "Of course we're not!" he cried.

"What are Peter and Remus?"

"Peter's a rat…" said Sirius slowly.

"And Remus?"

"Well, Remus isn't exactly an Animagus. I think it might be better if he explained it himself." Said James, with a quick glance at Sirius.

"Oh, that reminds me," said Sirius, "I have something for you." He handed me a small silver charm in the shape of a large dog. He helped me to fasten it on.

"Do I get a rat and a Remus too?" I laughed. "Thank you, Sirius, I feel truly part of your gang now. I only wish I had been years ago, and I could have had a doe on this bracelet too."

"A doe?" questioned James.

"Well of course I'd still be yours, even if we were animals," I smiled, and reached up to kiss him again.


	3. Finding Out

Finding Out

Finding Out

"Lily? Are you coming?" said James, smiling fondly at me as I walked down the girls' staircase.

"I'm ready, what's first?"

"Potions… with Slughorn." James made a noise of obvious dislike in the back of his throat.

"I like Professor Slughorn, he says I have talent!"

"That's 'cause he fancies you, Lil'," he said, taking my hand to pull me towards the portrait hole.

"No he doesn't! He's just enthusiastic!"

"Yeah yeah," James rolled his eyes and held the portrait hole open for me.

I sighed and stepped through it, then reached up to kiss him. "Are you jealous?"

"No. Lets go to breakfast, we can meet up with Sirius," he said too quickly.

I smirked and followed him down the stairs.

At breakfast we met Sirius, Remus & Peter, ate quickly and then proceeded to potions. We were practising making antidotes. There weren't many of us who had got into the potions class after our OWLs, in fact, Sirius, Remus, James and I were the only Gryffindors. Peter had got a D in potions.

The end of the lesson came quickly and I showed Professor Slughorn my finished antidote.

"Perfect, Lily, as per usual!" he smiled cheerily while James growled, Sirius smirking. I could see Severus in the background, sweating as he feverishly stirred his antidote. When he saw me staring he started to smile, then suddenly James' arm was around my shoulders, and Severus' eyes dropped to the floor, a tear sliding down his cheek.

The day passed quickly after that, and all too soon I was saying goodnight to James in the common room.

"No, Lily, wait," he said, looking around the room. Only Sirius, Peter and Remus were still up. "Remus is going to tell you what he is."

Remus got up from his chair by the fire and came to sit closer to me. "You mustn't be frightened, Lily. The reason Sirius, James and Peter are Animagi is because of me. I was bitten when I was a small boy- I am- most unfortunately- a werewolf."

I must have looked shocked, because James took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"I tried to keep it a secret from them, but being such loyal friends, of course, they found out. They wanted to help, make it a better experience for me. It took them three years to make it. I begged and pleaded with them not to, at first, but they were not to be swayed. Finally they completed the task. You know the Whomping Willow? It was planted because of me. Underneath it is a secret passageway leading to the shrieking shack, where, once every full moon- I go to transform. You may wonder why these three come into it.

"To get into the tunnel, you must first freeze the willow. There is a knot in the trunk which enables you to do this. Peter, being a rat and smallest of us four, presses the knot.

"When I transform, I need something large enough to keep me inside the shack, to keep me from attacking and biting anyone. You've seen how large Sirius and James are as animals. They are able to keep me under control.

"I'm sorry if you are frightened, Lily. I am so terribly sorry for connecting you with all this, but I beg you now not to tell anyone. If this gets out, I can no longer remain at Hogwarts. If you keep my secret, I am entirely in your dept."

There was a long pause. Then I stood up.

"Lily…" said James.

I looked at them all, the group of law breakers. I looked at Remus, werewolf, who leads three of my friends into danger every month. I pulled him into a hug.

Remus sighed with relief and hugged me back. He whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry."

"I know. It's not your fault," I whispered back.

"So it's okay then?" said Sirius.

"It's fine," I tried to smile, but was overcome with tears. The amount of danger they were all in every month, they did it for their friend. I felt so humble in their presence.

"Oh Lily," laughed James, "You're such a drama queen."

Sirius burst out laughing, and so did Peter. I looked at them all, and started laughing too. Even Remus had a slight smirk. We laughed and laughed, then-

"So can I have a wolf on my bracelet too?"


	4. This Is It

_Hi, thanks again to all those who have reviewed previous chapters, I've replied to you all! You've helped me a lot, and to say thanks, after chapter five, I'll do a special mention of you all! This chapter was hard to write, and the follow up even more so, so forgive me if I don't post anything in a while. I'll do my best! Please review- I'll give you a special mention!_

* * *

This Is It

After finding out their secret it was much easier to be with them. I'm finding that every day I find something new about James that deepens my love for him. Their loyalty to each other can not be rivalled by anything- and now that they are embracing me with open hands into their inner circle- they become even more endearing to me. I look upon them all as brothers- apart from James, of course- and I know that if I was ever in need of anything, they would go to the ends of the earth to help me. I am so glad I said yes to James. I am far happier now than I ever was. He has helped me with so many things without realising, I am entirely his now.

Severus is obviously very unhappy about the whole arrangement. I took the time James was practising Quidditch yesterday to find him.

"May I sit down?" Severus was sat on the edge of the lake, throwing stones into it's murky depths.

"If it's okay with _him_," he said dispiritedly.

"It's not his business who I sit with while he's at Quidditch practise," I said, sitting down.

Severus put his head in his hands. "What's happened to us, Lily?"

"We're still the same as always, I just have other priorities."

"We're not the same. You're in love with him. We can never be the same again."

"Sev…"

"No, Lily. I've been thinking it over. I know that you think I'll come round again, but honestly- this is it. It's me or him. You can't have both. THIS IS IT!" He suddenly screamed, a tear escaping from his angry eyes.

"Please, Severus, you're right, I do love him, but I love you too! You're my best friend, he's my boy friend. The two can mix, you know. I can still see you. I just have to work things out."

"Lily, it can't work. He loves you. I love you. You love him. I hate him. He hates me. You _like _me. _Like_, Lily. There's a difference between _liking _someone and loving someone! I should know. I'm not going to weaken. I'll never speak to you again if I have to."

I opened my mouth to speak, shocked.

"No- DON'T, Lily. DON'T! I can't take it. Don't come at me with "this can work" or "don't, Severus". Well, it's MY turn to stir the potion- or whatever. I love you Lily. Please just think about this, it's just another option. A better option. I'm giving you an ultimatum. I don't want to live without you, but I suppose I can try. At least you'll be happy either way."

"Severus, please don't do this! I can't take it! I'm not going to choose between you or him because I shouldn't have to! You should understand my predicament!"

He stood up sharply. "Lily. This is it. Choose, now."

Tears poured down my face, mingling with the now heavy rain.

"Severus…" I whispered.

"I guess you're choosing him."

"I want you to be my _friend_."

"But nothing more. You will never want more than just _friendship _with me. I see that now. Dear James Potter has truly won the final battle. You've got the one you want, but you can't keep the friend as well. This is it, Lily. Goodbye."

And he left me there by the lake, sobbing quietly in the rain.


	5. Stubborn

_Thanks for reviewing again everyone! Posting special mention next! Please review this chapter so I can post chapter six. Thanks for reading!_

Stubborn

James found me. He knew in an instant what had happened. My only word confirmed it.

"Severus…"

Looking furious, James transfigured a large rock into an umbrella (god knows how) and held it over us both as he pushed my wet head against his chest. He was letting me sob it out. I could tell his anger at Severus would come later. After about 15 minutes, my tears had dried up. I couldn't cry anymore. I just sat, staring at the lake.

James pulled me onto the front of his broomstick and flew me back up to the castle. He took my hand and dried me with a charm, then led me up to Gryffindor tower. All night he was silent, the fire dancing in his eyes as he stared into it. I didn't mind the silence, but I was worried about what he was thinking of. He held me hand tightly all through the evening, and then insisted I go to bed and rest. I did so, but I didn't go to sleep for a long time.

In the morning James was waiting for me as usual, but was still quiet. At breakfast he barely said a word to anyone, and Sirius took me aside to act what was up.

"You've not… broken up, have you?"

"No, of course not! It's Severus, he gave me an ultimatum. He told me it was James or him. I had to choose James."

"Oh, so he's brooding. I'll bet he's brewing a plan to get dear old Snivellus back. Well good on him. I'll go tell him I'll help." And with that, he was off.

"Boys" I groaned, and set off to Transfiguration.

James was quiet all day. He led me from lesson to lesson by my hand, but hardly said a word. I didn't want to say anything that might provoke him, so I left it. He had Quidditch practise again, and insisted I stay in the common room with Remus, who needed help on his Charms homework. I reluctantly agreed, I had originally wanted to go and plead with Severus, but had then remembered his parting words, "_This is it, Lily. Goodbye_". Swallowing back tears, I sat down next to Remus.

"I'll try and make sure he doesn't hurt him, Lily." Remus said, looking up.

"How did you know-?"

"I'm good at reading body language, and I've been watching you, Severus, and James very closely."

"Oh. You don't think he's going to hurt him, do you?"

"I'd be lying if I said he's not plotting anything. James values you above everything, friends, Quidditch, his broomstick, transfiguration, everything, and Snape hurt you. When something hurts you it hurts James too. And- honestly- you weren't a very pretty sight Monday night. Snape hurt you bad, and now he has to pay."

"But I don't want…"

"James is very loyal, Lily, and very stubborn with it. If someone does something to someone he holds dear, these qualities come out. He will not rest until he has taught Snape a lesson. I will do what is in my power to stop him from hurting him, but I'm afraid that, judging by James' body language, he's not going to back down."

"I don't want anyone to be hurt, it's my fault this has happened, I shouldn't have said yes to James, I could have been friends with both of them then."

"Lily, it wouldn't have worked out that way. James would have always wanted more than friendship. Sorry, but Snape is going to pay. I'm just worried what James is cooking up for him."

"I've got to stop him."

"You won't be able to, Lily. I know James, and like I said, he's stubborn. All we can do is wait and see if he calms down. Maybe when we know what he's going to do we can make him see reason, but not yet. Let him calm down."

"I don't like it."

"Neither do I, but do you have a better plan?"

"No… I guess not."

"Then let's get on with this homework."

Days went by and nothing happened between James and Severus. James started talking properly again on Wednesday, and all seemed well again, apart from the fact that I wasn't talking to Severus. It wasn't until Friday night that the whole problem resurfaced.

"What are we doing tomorrow?" I said dreamily, half asleep with my head on James' lap.

"I've got some unfinished business to take care of, but it won't take long," James said through gritted teeth, "Then we can do whatever you like."

"What unfinished business?" I sat up sharply, my bracelet sliding down my arm.

"Oh, nothing, just something with Sirius."

"James. Tell me what's going on."

"It's nothing! Just a small problem to take care of, that's all."

"Has it got anything to do with Severus, and what happened on Monday?"

"Of course not, Lily! If I wanted to hurt that slimy, pus-filled, idiotic creature wouldn't I have done it before now?"

Somehow comforted by this, I let him put his arm back around me. He pulled up my chin and kissed me. He thought he had me convinced. Little did he know, I could be stubborn too.


	6. Revenge

Chapter 6

Revenge

"Oi! Snivellus!" yelled Sirius.

"Snape! Get back here you lousy git!" yelled James.  
Both boys ran after the retreating figure.

"Levicorpus!" screamed James.

The figure, dressed in a heavy black cloak, was whipped up into the air as if dangling from an invisible rope.

"You will pay for what you did to Lily! You will pay!" yelled James again.

Suddenly, James and Sirius were no more. In their places were two enormous animals, a dog and a stag. The dog lunged at the dangling figure, and the stag rammed it's antlers into it again and again.

Eventually, the invisible rope snapped, and the figure fell, limp, to the floor. It did not stir.

I sat up in bed, heart beating hard. It was a dream, just a terrible, horrible dream. Surely James and Sirius weren't going to kill Severus. Even so, the dream had been horridly real. I ripped open the hangings of my four poster, gasping for breath. I ran to the water jug and in my haste slopped the ice cold water straight down my front. I quickly grabbed a towel and mopped myself up, and then reached for my dressing gown. I sat on my bed, shaking, for a while, before shoving on my slippers and headed for the stairs.

All was dark in the common room, except for the fire. I checked my watch; it was 3 in the morning. I shivered and went to sit down by the fire. I rested my head on one hand and looked deep into the flames, hoping, _praying_, that James would not hurt Severus.

I must have fallen asleep, because suddenly strong hands were shaking me awake. Daylight was spilling in through the windows, and I looked up into James' kind face.

"How long were you down here?" he asked kindly, sitting down beside me.

"Oh… I, I had a bad dream. It was about three when I woke up… I couldn't get back to sleep."

"Sorry about that. Can you remember it at all?"

"No," I lied, "I can't remember a thing."

"Can't have been that bad then," he reasoned, and lifted a hand to graze my cheek. "Breakfast?"

"Umm… sure, just, let me get dressed." I said, kissed him hurriedly and ran back up the stairs. As soon as I was dressed, I wasn't going to let him out of my sight. That way he couldn't possibly get to Severus. The outlook for the day looking considerably brighter, I raked the brush through my hair, smiling.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" I suggested after breakfast.

"Well… I was going to…" he looked at Sirius, who nodded, "I had that… problem, I needed to sort."

"Surely it can wait 'til after a walk, we're hardly ever alone together," I smiled coyly. My plan had worked; James was always guilty that we didn't spend enough time alone together.

We walked out of the entrance hall and into the grounds holding hands. We made our way in the vague direction of the forest, where we came to a stop. I put my hands around his neck and we kissed for a long moment. Smiling, we set off to the lake to sit on a blanket James conjured out of nowhere.

We stayed huddled up on the blanket for ages, his arm around me, watching the giant squid. I was starting to think that this silly "problem" was dealt with now, until James mentioned that we might go back up to the castle.

"Why?" I asked, trembling at the thought of what might come.

James mumbled something indistinct, took my hand and pulled me back up to the castle. We walked to the common room in silence, and then he held the portrait door open for me.

I stepped inside, to find the common room busy and noisy. Remus was sat at a table in a corner; he swiftly nodded at James, and came to collect me. I sat down with him; James pecked me on the cheek and proceeded back to the portrait hole.

"Where are you going?" I asked, my voice cracking.

"Oh nowhere, it's nothing, you'd be bored." He said, and climbed out of the portrait hole, out of sight.

I got up. "Where are you going?" said Remus.

"After him, unless you tell me what's going on. Where are Sirius and Peter? Are they part of this "nothing"?"

Remus looked at the floor. "Sit down Lily."

"No! Tell me what's going on! Now!"

"Lily. Sit down! Nothings going to happen, no one's going to get hurt."

"You say that. How do you know?"

He didn't answer. I threw down my bag and made to march out of the room- but suddenly he was at my side, a firm hand on my shoulder.

"Get. Off. Me."

"Lily, you're staying here whether you like it or not. Sorry, but that's my final word."

"Your word or James'?" I said, struggling to get free.

"This wasn't my idea, let's just sit down calmly, and I can tell you what's going on."

"I can't let them hurt him!" I yelled, remembering my dream.

"I know, I know," he said soothingly, "If you'll just sit down, I'll explain it all."

I sat. I waited for him to sit too, relaxing back into his armchair. Then, quick as a flash, I ran for it. I was out of the portrait hole before my well delivered tickling curse hit him. I could hear shouts of "Lily!" between bursts of raucous laughter.

I ran and ran until I reached the entrance hall. I looked around me, and tried to think where they could have gone. I dashed outside, and saw four figures a few yards ahead. I ran full pelt towards them, fearing the worst. They were heading towards the lake, one, it appeared, against its own will.

When I was close enough, my fears were confirmed. I watched from behind a bush as James, Sirius and Peter cornered Severus, them or the lake. I couldn't let this happen.

"You will pay for what you did to her!" James yelled brandishing his wand at Severus' throat.

"You don't look too happy now, Snivellus," sneered Sirius.

Severus whimpered. "I… I'll say sorry. I was awful to her I know, just, please!"

Peter and Sirius were laughing as James made to push Severus into the lake. This was bad, very bad. Peter stepped forward and gave James a push, sending Severus into the lake.

"No! You idiot! I never meant to push him in! Just to scare him!" screamed James.

"What can we do?" said Sirius.

"There's nothing for it," said James, handing Sirius his wand and quickly pulling off his heavy robes. He took a run up, and then dived straight into the waters murky depths.

I gasped. Not both of them! I ran forward from my hiding place. Sirius and Peter didn't look surprised to see me. All three of us just stood, staring into the lake, hoping, _praying_, that someone would resurface.

Eventually, after what seemed like hours, someone did. James' head broke the surface first; he took a deep, rasping breath and dived back down again.

This time he came up dragging Severus, who was unconscious. He swam with difficulty back to the lakes edge, and groped for Sirius hand to pull him up. Then he grabbed Severus and pulled him onto the grass. Without pausing to think, he began mouth to mouth resuscitation. But no need, because suddenly Severus coughed, bringing a load of water out of his mouth.

"Oh thank goodness, thank goodness you're both okay!" I cried, running towards them both. James didn't look at me. Severus stared at James then croaked-

"You saved my life."

"I should never have done that to you. I never meant to push you in, just to scare you, to teach you a lesson for being horrible to Lily. I'm sorry."

I performed a drying spell on both of them. "Maybe you ought to go to Madam Pomfrey.

"No need. I'll just get back to the castle," said Severus, averting his eyes.

"Please don't tell anyone. He would have never pushed you in. Please. For my sake."

"Why would I want to protect him?"

"For me."

"Fine," Severus spat, "Fine. Protect your boyfriend when he nearly killed me."

"He saved your life!"

"He also endangered it."

"Don't be like this!"

"I can be how I want; you're not the victim here."

"Severus!"

"Don't talk to her like that!"

"I don't think you're in any position to make threats, Potter, empty or otherwise."

"Leave off, Snivellus!" yelled Sirius.

"No!" James threw a hand out to stop Sirius from doing anything. "We've done enough. Let's just all go back to the castle and forget everything, if you'll allow us." He looked at Severus.

Severus' lip curled into a sneer. "You really think I'll forget this?"

"Severus!" I cried.

"Fine. For her sake only," he said, gesturing to me.

"That's what all this is about anyway. Lily."

"I'm glad we both see it that way."

"Don't!" I looked at James. "Come on." I took his hand and gestured up to the castle.

"Ugh!" Severus spat and turned on his heel, his black robes billowing behind him as he went.

_Thanks to everyone who reviewed, hope you enjoy chapter six!  
Please review, chapter seven coming soon. Oh, if you're worried I won't reply if you review- ask anyone who has reviewed- they'll tell you that I reply to every single review I get! Thanks, CullenCrazy32_


	7. A Christmas Kiss

Chapter 7

A Christmas Kiss

James ordered bouquets of beautiful flowers to be brought to me by postal order. He gave me a worm, a wolf and a doe to put on my charm bracelet, and wrote me notes which he charmed up the girls staircase and onto my bed for me to read each night. He was going out of his way for me to forgive him. He didn't need to do anything; I had nothing to forgive him for. I was only quiet because I was reflecting. I couldn't believe his bravery- diving into the unknown to rescue someone he hates, jeopardising his own life! And then how he _apologised _to Severus! I can't believe how compassionate James is.

"You know, James, you are already forgiven. There's no need to keep buying me things."

James blushed, and looked me in the eyes. "You shouldn't forgive me. I did a terrible thing, and I'm sorry."

"I forgive you!" I cried, and reached up to kiss him. For once, he pulled away.

"You really shouldn't, you know."

"Well I _do_." I said, and kissed him again.

For the first time since he saved Severus, we held hands walking down to breakfast again.

We were still on edge about who Severus would tell, though. I was worried he'd go straight to Professor Dumbledore, but he didn't seem to have done. James and I grew closer again, and all seemed to be well. Whenever James, Sirius, Remus or Peter saw Severus around the castle they just averted their eyes to the floor. I smiled and nodded at him, sometimes trying to speak, but he just ignored me. This angered James, but he thought better of another revenge scheme.

Christmas was approaching fast and with it the colder weather, resulting in snow, which James, Sirius, Remus and Peter found great delight in throwing at each other. I didn't mind, I took the time to study, or look through postal order catalogues, pondering on what to buy James with my limited money.

I decided on buying him the highly acclaimed book, Quidditch through the Ages, a new bright red woolly scarf, and a broomstick servicing kit. I hoped it would be enough. I bought Remus a book on magical creatures, with a spectacularly false chapter on werewolves, which I hoped he would enjoy. I found Sirius a great box of practical jokes from Zonko's, and Peter a box of sweets from Honeydukes. I bought Severus a new potion book. I know he probably wouldn't accept it, but I had to try. The owl delivered them five days before Christmas, so I had enough time to wrap them in our House colours.

The days in the holidays leading up to Christmas were wonderful. James, Sirius, Remus, and I were pretty much the only people remaining in Gryffindor tower, so we could do what we wanted. We had a chess tournament, which Remus won hands down, because Sirius and James kept messing about, trying to bewitch the chess pieces to swear at the opposing ones, and Peter and I were terrible at it anyway.

James and Sirius put on a spectacular display of those wet start fireworks from Zonko's on Christmas Eve, and the remaining Gryffindors all had a spectacularly loud party. James and Sirius were uproariously funny, really getting into their element, until McGonagall came in and ordered us all to bed. James and I stayed in the common room for a little while longer, wanting to stay up until twelve.

Finally, as the clock struck twelve, James pulled me under some strategically placed mistletoe and we shared a wonderful Christmas kiss. I went to bed after, my knees shaking, and my head still reeling from it. Sleep came quickly after, I was in a daze.


	8. A Very Happy Christmas

Christmas morning I woke up early, grabbed my pile of presents and headed downstairs, where James said he'd be waiting, and he was

Christmas morning I woke up early, grabbed my pile of presents and headed downstairs, where James said he'd be waiting, and he was.

"Happy Christmas, Lil'!" he yelled before kissing me exuberantly and showering me with no doubt expensive gifts.

"Wow, thanks! Merry Christmas to you too!" I said, handing over his parcels.

Sirius, Peter and Remus came downstairs too and we all opened our gifts together. They all liked my presents, especially James, who tied his scarf around his neck at once. I loved mine, a book on Charms from Remus, a two way mirror from Sirius- James had the other half, a scarf from Peter, and from James: an intricate silver necklace; a gorgeous red cashmere sweater; a very expensive eagle feather quill; a bouquet of everlasting Lilies, and an enchanted parchment, which he said would every day have a new message on it from him, on why he loved me.

Sirius and Peter went for a snowball fight in the grounds, and Remus went to watch, tactically leaving James and me alone. It looked as if my surprises hadn't ended; James took me into a seemingly empty classroom and sat me down on a plush chair, which, moments ago, had been a hard wooden bench.

"Now Lily, another surprise!" he beamed.

"James, you didn't have to, you know," I said, embarrassed, my scarf, book and broom service kit seeming very meagre presents now.

"I think you'll find I did," he said, and kissed me.

Suddenly the room filled with beautiful music, something I had never heard before, soft, classical, wonderful music. It was truly mesmerising.

James offered me his hand, picked me up and twirled me round.

"May I have this dance?" he murmured.

"Of course!" I whispered.

We danced slowly to the music, revolving on the spot, until the last high note silenced.

"Oh James! What was it?"

"The ballad of the Lilies,"

"It was beautiful. Who wrote it?"

"My dad writes classical music, I asked him… and he helped."

"So you wrote it together?"

"He wrote it, I played it, you inspired it."

"Oh, James. I love it. I love _you_."

"That's all I wanted to hear. I love you too, you know, more than anything."

I kissed him.

After a long walk around the snow covered grounds, we went for dinner, which was delicious as usual. Then I sat reading by the fire, one hand firmly clasped in James', while the boys played chess and exploding snap. I was so happy I could barely contain it. I just wondered what Severus was doing. Last year I had spent Christmas with him. We had watched James and Sirius lobbing snowballs at each other, thinking it ridiculous.

This year he'll be all alone in the Slytherin common room. I didn't see him at dinner. Well maybe not alone. Maybe he's sat with that foul gang of his. I don't know, he _might_ be happy. But I don't know that. I have to find out.

"James?" I said, looking up from my book and into his face, which was set in deep concentration.

He squeezed my hand gently and said "Bishop to G5." Then he turned around and said, "Yes, Lil'?"

"I don't want to disturb your game, I can see I'm distracting you, so I think I'm just going to go for a little walk, clear my head."

"What? You're not distracting me!" he looked forlorn, "Do you want me to come-?"

"No, James, you continue your game, I might go for a bath, actually, you know, prefect's bathroom."

"Oh," he frowned, "you sure you'll be ok?"

"James, I was fine for the six years I haven't been going out with you, I'm sure I'll be fine now."

He still looked worried, "I could walk you down there…"

"James. Stop worrying! I'll be fine!" I squeezed his hand and kissed him. Then I got up and went upstairs to grab my dressing gown, I had to keep up the pretence.

When I got back downstairs he was waiting for me. He pulled me into a deep hug and said "I love you."

"I love you too," I said softly, then- "See you later, guys!" I called, and blew kisses at them all, which James pretended to catch. I clambered out of the portrait hole, grinning.

It took me about 15 minutes to remember where the Slytherin common room was, and then find it. I didn't know what to do then. I tried guessing the password, trying "Pure-blood" and "Serpent" but I couldn't get in. In the end I just sat down with my back to the wall, watching the entrance.

Suddenly- and I couldn't believe my luck, a foot appeared out of the entrance. It was Severus.

"Lily! What are you going here?" he grinned, and then, remembering- said "You shouldn't be here; this corridor is out of bounds for Gryffindors."

"I had to see you. Please, Severus. Let's just go for a walk."

"No. I've made myself clear- I don't want anything to do with you."

"Severus please! Please, this is all I'll ask of you ever, one short walk."

He was weakening, I could see it. "Where to?"

"Around the lake."

He opened his mouth-

"_Once,_ don't worry, I won't make you do more."

"Ok. Lead the way, then."

He followed me, lagging one step behind, while I babbled on and on about how I was sorry and wanted to be friends again. When we reached the entrance hall he held up a hand.

"I've heard enough."

"No, Severus, please, just carry on walking with me, please…"

He held up another hand. "I'll be your friend again."

Yay- finally a new chapter! People cheer- "What took you so long?!"

I can answer that, honest. I have been really busy revising for my exams, but now I'm off school for two weeks so I have some spare time on my hands to update! Woo! I'm going to update every single fic, so look out! Please review, this was a particularly hard chapter to write and I want to know what you think! If you do- I'm sure James and his Dad will write a song for you! ;)

Thanks for waiting patiently for so long,  
CullenCrazy32


	9. Forgiveness

"You will?"

"I will." I couldn't believe it. I ran to him and hugged him hard, so that he almost toppled over.

"Let's go for this walk then!" I said, grinning.

We walked round the lake, me babbling about all sorts of insignificant things. Severus was very quiet, but I understood. It would take time, but I was happy that he had consented to wait.

After the walk he said he had to go back to his common room, he had to think things through. I walked down there with him, still chatting.

"So did you like my gift?"

"What? Oh- yeah, the potions book, great, Lily, thank you."

So he hadn't been listening to a word I had said. I found I didn't mind, but was just glad that I was with him.

"Lily, I'd better go, I'll see you some other time, yeah?"

"Tomorrow?"

"Er- no, I don't think tomorrow would be best, maybe, maybe not 'til next week."

"But today is Monday! You really expect me to wait over seven days to see you again?"

"No- but do you really expect me to want to see you so frequently- I mean, after our recent time apart," he said shiftily, his eyes looking longingly towards his common room.

"Ok," I said, holding back tears, "that's, that's fine. See you next week then."

He gave a hollow laugh. "Whatever," he muttered. He thought I hadn't heard.

Back in the common room James was waiting for me.

"Took you a long time to have a shower, did you get lost?"

"No, I- er, had a bath, you know what I'm like having a bath, and it takes me ages."

"Hmm. See anyone down there?"

"Nope, no one at all. Everyone must be busy having a good time, or at home with their families."

"Yes. I imagine they would, on Christmas. They'd like to be with the people they _love_."

"Are you ok, James? Lose the chess tournament?"

"Well, yes, but that's beside the point."

"Which is…?"

"I know where you were, Lily. You were with him."

I opened my mouth, not knowing what to say.

"No- don't. Please don't lie to me_, please. _I know where you were, and what you were doing. Did he forgive you? Not that you need forgiving." He added as an undertone.

"The thing is James, he did! I was missing him, he was my best friend, he's forgiven me! He says it will take time before it can get back to normal, but at least he wants to be my friend now!"

"I'm happy for you."

I raised my eyebrows sceptically. "Yeah…"

"No, really, I am! I want you to be happy, and if he being your friend makes you happy, I don't care. Just as long as you don't love him or anything."

"Oh James!" I hugged him hard and then kissed him. "I'm so glad you understand. Of course I don't love him! I love you!"

He hugged me back and held me against his muscled chest. "I still don't trust him, though." He thought I hadn't heard, so I overlooked it. I can't really expect him to trust him after what he did, and he's being more than reasonable about this. I only wish I could say the same for Severus.

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_Hey, sorry this chapter isn't very good, but I needed a filler before my next major event! I've got the ideas all written down and I'll be writing the other chapter soon, I promise! Please review!  
CullenCrazy32_


	10. Possession

I wake up on Boxing Day morning feeling really happy. I reach over for the parchment on my bedside table and smile when I see that there is a lengthy letter written on it.

_Dear Lily,_

_As promised, every day this parchment will bear a new reason to why I love you. Sirius helped me make it, he's rather good with things like this. Ok, so reason number one._

_I love you because every single time I see you, whether you're in my favour or not, I smile. You make me want to drop everything, run at you, pull you into my arms, and kiss you. It makes me so happy now to know that you probably wouldn't object to me doing that, so expect it to happen once in a while!_

_I love you so very, very much, and I can't wait to see you this morning! Let's go for a walk into Hogsmeade, if the weather will permit it!__ Unless you have other ideas, of course. I feel guilty that I seem to take up most of your time._

_Love, yes, true love,_

_James x_

Now I'm even happier. I pull on some clothes, (including the sweater he bought me), and rush downstairs. He's there, as usual, grinning that wonderful perfect smile of his.

"Did you read it?"

To answer him, I throw my arms around his neck and kiss him lovingly.

"You liked it then?"

I nodded and kissed him again, melting into his arms.

"Good," he laughed, and wiped a strand of hair back from my eyes. "I do love you, you know."

"And you think I don't?" I looked up at him, still cradled in his arms, "I love you more than anyone," I whispered, hugging him tightly.

He smiled and looked down at me with affection in his eyes. "Let's go," he said, twirling me round to disentangle us and then taking my hand.

"Yes, let's," I beamed and squeezed his hand as we walked over to the portrait hole.

After a short breakfast we walked down to Hogsmeade chatting about normal things like Quidditch and school. We stopped just before entering the village and kissed tenderly.

"What a perfect morning," James smiled.

"I know, and it's not even ten yet!" I said as we walked towards the first shop, Honeydukes.

"Want anything?" asked James, jingling his pocket; I could hear several coins inside it.

"No, no, I'm fine, let's go up to the Shrieking Shack." I didn't want him to spend anymore money on me.

"Ok, sure, and then we can go to the three broomsticks after, have a butterbeer to warm us up."

"I'm already warm," I said softly, putting my arm around his waist.

He smiled and put his arm around my shoulders. I fitted snugly into the crook of his arm. "We fit," he noticed, "like two jigsaw pieces. It's like I was a nearly completed jigsaw, one piece missing, for ages, and then I found you, and you were the missing piece. I was whole again."

"Nice analogy," I laughed.

"I love your laugh. It makes me all warm inside just to hear it."

I didn't know what to say to this. I just smiled up at him.

"You're perfect, Lily, you know that?"

"It's nice of you to think so," I mumbled, embarrassed.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

In the three broomsticks James bought us two butterbeers (he insisted he paid), and we sat down with Sirius and Remus.

"Where's Peter?" asked James.

"Couldn't be bothered to come, I think," said Remus.

"I wonder why, it's a lovely day." I said.

"Lovely and cold, more like. I'm bloody freezing!" moaned Sirius, miming a shiver.

"What are you guys doing later?"

"Thought we'd merge Quidditch with a snowball fight- basically a snowball fight on brooms but with scoring, you in?" says Sirius while Remus rolls his eyes at me.

James eyes flick to me, and I smile encouragingly. "Umm, no, I'm spending the day with Lily."

"No! James, honest, you have fun. You deserve some, and I thought I might see Severus- if you don't mind, that is."

"Well…" you could see he was thinking hard, longingly of Snowball Quidditch, but also worrying about me seeing Severus.

"Honest, I'll be fine!" I say and pat his arm softly.

"Ok then," he says reluctantly.  
"Wow, thanks Lily!" cries Sirius, who claps James round the shoulders. "You won't regret it, mate."

"I think I already do," he mutters softly, but I don't think anyone hears him except me.

The rest of the afternoon is passed in the Three Broomsticks, James and Sirius getting more and more excited about Snowball Quidditch, making up rules, and Remus and I talking about his transformations and how it feels to be a werewolf. Eventually we are shooed out by Madame Rosmerta and we walk back up to the castle, laughing hard at Sirius and James' jokes.

We all go up to the common room, where Sirius and James collect their broomsticks and Remus and I sit by the fire.

"Right, we're ready for off, sure you don't want to join in?" says Sirius, then laughs at the looks on our faces.

"Absolutely positive, thanks. I'm going to read the book Lily gave me yesterday, in peace, for once."

"And you're sure you're ok with me going, Lily?"

"Yes! You go have fun, I'll see you later." I reach up and kiss him softly, leaving a smile on both our faces.

"I love you," he whispers.

"I love you too."

Then they head out of the portrait hole, shouldering their broomsticks with enormous grins on their faces.

Remus looks up from his book. "Are you going to see Snape?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Oh, no reason, just wondered… is James happy about it?"

"Not really, but he's getting used to the idea of him being friends with me again."

"I see. Well, have a good time!"

"I will." I say, beaming, and walk away.

"Lily! What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, of course! I thought you'd be here."

Severus was sat under a wide tree overlooking the lake, near to the whomping willow. It was his hideout for watching James, Sirius, Remus and Peter when they were at the Whomping Willow, he had showed me a few years ago. We had spent many weekends just laid under the tree, doing homework, or talking. The ground was covered with snow, but Severus had brought down an emerald green blanket, and had charmed a fire in a jar to keep him warm.

"Can I sit down?"

He moved slightly to one side, clearing a space. I took that for a yes, and sat down.

"So, doing some more spying?" I looked over to where I could see two figures in the air, lobbing snow at each other.

"No," he said too quickly, blushing furiously.

"Have I done something wrong?" I asked, worried.

"You shouldn't be here."

"Why?"

"You just- shouldn't."

"Severus, I don't understand what you're talking about."

"Just leave it, ok?"

"Sev…"

"What? Lily, _what_?"

"I just wondered…"

"You're always just wondering, but never understanding!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Just leave me alone."

"I thought we were friends again…"

"Well you thought wrong!" His eyes flicked over to where the figures on brooms were dismounting. They appeared to be coming this way.

"What can I do, Sev? Please, tell me what I can do to get it back to how it was."

"It can never be how it was."

"Can it be a different way, then? Can we just start again?"

He was watching the figures avidly now. They were getting closer and closer. "There are only two ways it can be now, Lily," he said quietly.

"Then tell me! Tell me the two ways, and we can work on it! We _can _be friends again, I know it!"

He gave a hollow laugh. "We can never be friends again."

"Severus, please. What are the two ways?"

He held up a finger. "One- you stay with Potter and we never speak again."

I opened my mouth to speak and he silenced me with a glare.

He looked back at the figures, now distinguishable as James and Sirius.

"Go on…" I say desperately.

"Two- you leave Potter and never speak to him or his friends again. Then I'll be your friend."

"Severus… I can't… I just can't… can't do that to them," I can feel the tears welling up but I blink them away. I have to make him understand.

"Then you have chosen option one."

"No! No, I haven't, honestly! I choose option three! Where James is my boyfriend and you are my best friend! Can it not work that way?"

"Lily, I hate him more than I hate myself for doing this to you. I hate him so much it hurts. Can you not understand that?" He looked at me, pleading with his eyes. "Choose option two, Lily, please."

I stand up, wanting to be sick. "I can't make this decision. James is willing to let me see you, at least! Why can't _you _understand, Severus?"

"I do."

"No, you don't! You're tearing me in half! You can't love me at all, to do this to me! This is all about hate, with you, isn't it? With James it's about _love_, you see. He _loves_ me, so he's willing to let me see you. You can't love me, or otherwise you'd want me to be happy. You wouldn't be making me decide between you and him all the time!" I'm shouting now, and I can't help it. I hear a distant cry of "Lily" in the distance, which means James has noticed me and is coming for me. "You know what, Severus? You're just jealous of him! It's not hate! He has everything you want! Me, good looks, Quidditch skill, good friends, talent, knowledge, a happy home, money, all the things you don't have but _do _want! And you can't stand it that he has them all! You're just jealous!"

"Why- what- why would I be jealous of him? Yes, he has some things I wish I- possessed, but, but he's a bully, Lily, can't you see that!?"

"Some things you wished you possessed. So I'm just something you wished you _possessed_, am I? A trophy prize? Well, Severus, no wonder I chose him!" With that I walk away, but a hand pulls me back, a sweaty, small hand. I whip round. "What?"

"You're not something to be possessed. I meant your heart. I wish I had your heart," he said, and then suddenly, he leant towards me, and his lips met mine, roughly pushing them apart with his tongue.

"_Get away from her_," someone snarled.

_Wow, major event! What did you think? Please review and tell me! Also, does anyone have any ideas on how to make it better, or what to do next? All comments welcome! I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank all those people who add my story to their Story Alert subscriptions and as their favourite story! Also thank you to all those who add me to their Author Alert subscriptions and as one of their favourite authors! And to everyone who reviewed- there's a special mention coming up next time!  
Much love,  
Molly x_


	11. Arguments And Snowball Quidditch

_Hi, I'm so sorry this chapter took so long, but I have my exams coming up in a week (aaah!) so I'm cramming and trying to write FF at the same time! Also, I've chopped and changed a lot with this chapter, and after finally deciding on what happens, this is just a filler for which hopefully next time well be a very exciting new chapter! So again, I'm sorry it took so long, you've all been very patient. I will try to get the next chapter up soon, and when my exams end on the 10th May I'll be able to start uploading regurlarly again, starting with a major update of EVERY fanfic! Right, I'll stop rambling now and let you get on with it! Please review, you know I love it! Molly x_

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"You're not something to be possessed. I meant your heart. I wish I had your heart," he said, and then suddenly, he leant towards me, and his lips met mine, roughly pushing them apart with his tongue.

"_Get away from her_," someone snarled.

I pushed Severus away and managed to get my head around in time to see James with his wand out, a look of utter rage on his face. I stumbled and choked, breathing harshly, and James rushed to my side, still pointing his wand directly at Severus' face. He slipped an arm around my shoulders, and whispered "Don't worry," in my ear. I looked from him to Severus, who had his wand out too.

"You foul creature! How _dare _you even _touch _her?" James said, his face reddening and his tone seething.

"I wanted her to know what options she has, Potter. I wanted her to know she can do better than _you_."

"You think she'd actually choose you over me when you give her an ultimatum and then shove your slimy black tongue down her throat?"

"And you didn't?"

"I gave her a choice, Snape. I told her she could choose who she wanted and I'd still be her friend, 'cause that's the sort of guy I am! I'm not a greasy Slytherin who values _hate _and _revenge _over the one he loves!"

"Oh yes, because you're a _brave_, _honest_, Gryffindor, aren't you? You want her to be happy, but you can't _stand _the fact of a Gryffindor being with a Slytherin, can you?"

"I said she could be with you if that's what she wanted. I only want her to be happy." James face was crumpling.

"Or do you?" I could see Severus had hit below the belt. "Doesn't it all come down to a bit of inter-house rivalry; you know the story, the famous Gryffindor versus Slytherin grudge? But Dumbledore doesn't want this, does he Potter? He wants us all to be equals, you and me alike. But you just couldn't stand that, could you Potter? You're so big-headed, strutting about with your _gang _and your _broom _and your _money_!"

James opened his mouth, but it was me who spoke. "Strutting? James doesn't _strut. _He doesn't carry around his broom or money, which he can't help he has! You know what it is with you, Severus? It's jealousy, just like I said. It all comes down to jealousy. You've just proved it right in front of us. You are _jealous_, and that's all there is to it! You just cannot _stand_ that James got me first, can you?" My face was hot and I was out of breath, but I'd said my peace.

"I see. So over big-headedness and jealousy you choose big headedness? Over Slytherin and Gryffindor you choose Gryffindor?"

"No, Severus, you don't see. I choose _him _over _you_."

Severus looked affronted, then determined. Raising his wand, he yelled "_Levicorpus_!" and I flew into the air as if attached to a bungee wire.

He then opened his mouth to say his next incantation, no doubt a worse one, pointing his wand at James, but James snapped into action and retaliated, disarming Severus, deftly catching his wand. He let me down, pointed Severus' wand at its owner, and said "_Petrificus Totalus_", immobilising him, before throwing his wand at his feet.

James looked at me. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry about what happened."

"I'm fine," I lied, realising now how I was shaking uncontrollably.

He noticed me shaking but didn't pursue it. "Let's go back to the castle," he said, reaching for my hand.

I took it and followed him, looking over my shoulder at the immobilised body lying behind us. I tried to avoid Severus' eyes, but I caught them as I passed. He was silently pleading, but I shook my head and walked on, averting my green eyes from his black.

It's good that we're on Christmas holiday, because for the next few days all I want to do is lounge about the common room, my hand always locked in James', thinking. He seemed fine with it, only ever casually suggesting a walk or a trip to see Hagrid, which I almost always declined, because I didn't want to see Severus. I was worried we hadn't heard the last of him.

It wasn't until 3 days before the end of the holiday that I realised how stupid I'd been, ruining James, Sirius, Remus and Peter's Christmas' as well as my own, and also about the lack of homework I'd done. I woke up that morning and went straight to the library with James, where we spent a few hours finishing various essays. After, we walked down to Hagrid's, who James seemed exuberantly happy about seeing.

"Well, if it ain't James 'n' Lily, come to see me!" Hagrid's face cracked into a genuine smile as he welcomed us both inside his small hut. "Wha' brings you 'ere then?"

"Just fancied a chat, didn't we, 'Lil?"

I nod and look out of the window, a solitary figure catching my eye in the distance. Their idle chatter fades until I'm no longer listening. The figure now walks quite quickly toward Quidditch grounds, and as far as I could see, has its wand out.

"Lily? Lily?"

"Oh!" I manage to take my eyes of the figure to look at James, an expression on concern on his face.

"What are you looking at?"

"Oh, er," I look back at the window, but the figure can no longer be seen. "Nothing, nothing, just noticing how perfect the conditions are for tomorrow."

"Oh yes, I've heard you've got a bit of a bet goin' on wi' Geoffrey Macmillan. Yer putting a team together, 'n' e's puttin' a team together, 'n' yeh gonna see who's best?"

"No, not quite right Hagrid, you see Macmillan's going to drag a team together the minute before the match, but I've already to hand selected my team. Finest Quidditch players in Gryffindor- well, the finest players that remained at Hogwarts for the holidays- I made sure of it. Then when not going to see _who's _best- we're going to see that _Gryffindor _are the best. Oh and also, it's Snowball Quidditch, this great game Sirius and I made up"

"So it's basically just Gryffindor v Hufflepuff, but with snowballs?" I ask, smiling.

"No, Gryffindor v Hufflepuff's _real _match is after the holidays- we're just having a bet for now."

"So ah should be bettin' on you then?" Hagrid smiled too.

"If you want to win," said James indifferently, shrugging, but then we all began to laugh. I felt better than I had in days.

I woke up early on the Sunday morning, and dressed for outdoors, as I knew I'd be watching Quidditch for a long time. I had nothing against Quidditch, as long as I didn't have to play; I wanted to watch this particular match.

James was waiting for me as usual, his Cleansweep 7 slung over his shoulder. Grinning- obviously very confident he would win- he leaned in to kiss me and then took my hand happily.

"You seem confident…"  
"I am."

"Overly?"

"Just a touch."

"I'm shocked."

"You shouldn't be."

"Why?"

"I'm competitive."

"I can tell."

"Good."

"Who's in Geoffrey's team?" I said, breaking the pattern of speaking with hardly any words.

"Macmillan? No idea, I imagine he's recruiting right now."

"Who's in yours?"

"Chasers- Sirius, Alice- you know from fourth year- the eccentric one, and me, Beaters- Henry Wood and Thomas Frobisher from seventh year, Keeper- Eric Bell from fifth year, Seeker- Jenny Morgan from fifth year."

"And they're all really good?"

"Well, Thomas is a bit of a whiner, and Jenny sometimes gets distracted- she's going out with Eric, but otherwise I think so."

"Are any of them actually on the real Gryffindor team?"

"Well Macmillan thought it was only fair if we picked people who weren't in the Quidditch teams, apart from ourselves of course, to make it fairer."

"And have you stuck to that rule?"

"Sort of. Eric Bell is the Gryffindor keeper but he was injured for the first too games this year so Colin Hooper has been playing instead, and Larry Boardman- our current Gryffindor beater has had to quit because he's failing in everything, so Henry will be replacing him when the next term starts."

I laughed at the pained expression on James' face, "Don't worry, Geoffrey won't know Henry's joining the team in the new term, and he might think Colin replaced Eric. He's probably cheated too, anyway."

"Yeah, maybe," said James, sitting down at the table next to Sirius, who was yawning.

"Morning Sirius," I smiled.

"Hey," he groaned, and put his head on the table, "why did I agree to do this…?"

"'Cause you're my best mate, that's why," laughed James, "here, have some bacon," he said, tipping several rashers onto Sirius' plate before adding five to his own.

I raised my eyebrows. "Gotta keep my strength up," James chirped, before beginning to eat.

I helped myself to a slice of toast and began to eat, scanning the hall for the rest of James' team. I caught sight of Alice coming towards us, grinning, and waved. "Hi Alice!"

"Hey, perfect conditions, huh James?"

"Yeah, we've been lucky," he said, still shovelling down the bacon.

Alice noticed Sirius' head on the table. "Nervous, Sirius?"

"No," he said through gritted teeth, "Just wish I hadn't signed up for this," he said, slowly bringing his head up from the table.

"Aww, you'll be okay," Alice smiled while James smirked.

"Are we ready to go then?" James asked sceptically.

"May as well," sighed Sirius.

We walked out of the hall and were joined in the Entrance Hall by the rest of James' team. They all hailed James with questions about the match but he directed them towards Alice and hung back to grab my hand.

"Are you nervous?"

"Of course not," James smirked, then added, "Well, maybe a little bit. I don't want to have to forfeit because Sirius won't play."

"Don't worry, he will."

"He might throw up."

"Well, if he does, I'll play."

He looked at me, "You will?"

"Of course I would, for you."

He grinned. "I love you."

"I know." I smiled back.

We were nearing the pitch now and James needed to gather his team to change. Not many people had showed, seeing as most people were still on holiday, but if anything, this was good news; it would be less embarrassing if they lost.

"Good luck," I chirped, and kissed him. "I'll be on standby."

He grinned and waggled his fingers at me before disappearing inside the changing room.


	12. The Match

_Okay, sorry it's been a while, but the Match is finally here! I've also decided to set an uploading date for this fic, so every Sunday you will get your new chapter! Hope that's ok with you all! Please read and review, you know I love you for it! Thanks, Molly x_

Only twenty people were watching, due to the scarcity of people left over from the holidays, so we all stood in one stand, huddled together from the bitter cold and whirling snow. I found myself stood next to Frank Longbottom, a fourth year Gryffindor.

"Frank! What are you doing still at school?" I asked. I had expected him to stay home; I knew his mother to be very forceful.

"Oh, well, er, my Mum wanted me to go home, but, er- I kind of wanted to stay." He looked away sheepishly, pretending to check if the players had come out yet.

"Why would you want to stay when all your friends had gone home?" I questioned, puzzled.

"Not, er, _all_, my friends have gone home. There's still, umm…" His attention drifts as Alice waltzes out of the changing room below and onto the pitch, grinning and talking excitedly to Jenny.

"Alice?" I supply.

"Uh- wha? H-how did you know?" he asks, tearing his eyes away from her.

"It's kind of obvious, Frank, to be honest," I say and laugh at the expression on his face. "But it's ok," I add, as Alice waves animatedly at Frank and I from the pitch, "because it seems like she likes you too." I smile at him warmly and he smiles back, dazed from Alice's wave.

I lean over the rail as James comes out, waving madly, and he singles me out and blows me a kiss. I pretend to catch it- our ritual now- and yell "Good luck!" He nods and pulls his team together for a final briefing.

We all wait with baited breath as Geoffrey approaches James and they shake hands. Then they all mount their brooms, ready for take off, when suddenly, Sirius lurches to the side and is magnificently sick all over himself.

"Wha-? Sirius?" yells James, running to his side. Sirius is limp in his arms, fainted I think, and I run out of the stands to get to them both.

"James, he needs taking to the hospital wing, and quickly!"

Henry and Thomas come forward and grab Sirius under the arms to drag him back to the castle, Henry vanishing the sick with a spell before it touches him.

James looks crestfallen. Geoffrey comes over, looking relieved. "Sick, eh? I suppose we'll be calling off the match, then, mate?" he asks hopefully.

James sighs and opens his mouth to speak, but I butt in. "Of course not! I'm Sirius' reserve, we'll just wait for Henry and Thomas to get back and then we can play," I say confidently.

James looked at me. "Are- are you sure? You don't have to do this for me, you know."

"I know," I said, smiling, "but I am."

James' anxious face broke out into a grin as he picked me up and spun me round. "Thank you, Lily. Thank you so, so much," he whispered in my ear.

"It's okay, you can thank me later. You'd better teach me how to play Snowball Quidditch now."

Fifteen minutes of whispered instructions from James later, Henry and Thomas reappear from the hospital wing.

"How is he?" I ask, as the rest of the team gathers round for news.

"Poisoned," says Thomas grimly, "with two potions, one a Sickness Draught, and the other, a Zonko's product apparently, called the Cowardice Concoction."

"What? So that's why he didn't want to play?"

"Yup," says Henry, "he's got to stay in the hospital wing for a while, the Cowardice is coming on real strong and he daren't even show his face now."

"Do they know who did it?"

"No idea," says Thomas with a meaningful look at James, "but if we want to play the blame game…" he looks darkly over towards Geoffrey.

"I don't think Geoffrey would do anything like that!" says Alice loudly.

"No, you're right there, Alice. But it was someone. We just have to find out whom…" says James, his brow furrowed.

"But for now," butts in Eric, "let's just get on with the game, yeah?"

"Good idea Eric," I say, and beckon for everyone to get back into position. James hands me the broomstick Sirius was using, and I climb on, trying not to think about what I have to do.

I hear James yell "let's go!" and I shoot up into the snow filled sky. I had ridden a broom before, but on a sunny day, with someone I'd rather not think about. The snow whirled around us as I saw James speeding towards the goal, snowball in hand. I tried to fly directly behind him, for back-up, because I knew he could win this game playing on his own with one hand tied behind his back.

After James had scored five "Snowball Goals" and everyone was thoroughly splattered with the heavy snow, my broom began to jerk. I was trying to get towards the left of the pitch, I had a good angle for the goal and I wanted a shot at scoring, but my broom seemed to veer to the right. I forced it on, but the fierce wind and the broom's jerking motions swept me higher and higher.

I could no longer hear the cheering of the crowd or the shouts of the players, and I was worried. The snow was turning rapidly to a slushy, slippery sleet, and I was slipping and sliding about on the broom dangerously. The wind whipped my robes up around my head and I could no longer see where I was going. I stopped trying to steer and just let myself be flicked back and forth like a rag doll, wondering desperately what to do, just clinging with all my strength to the broom. I tried shouting for help but my cries fell to deaf ears.

The wind gave a final ferocious gust, and the broom slipped from my numb fingers. I was falling before I had time to scream.

I woke up dazed and confused. I couldn't see a thing at first, but I could hear.

"Do you think she'll be ok?"

"She fell so far…"

"I wonder what happened?"

"We'll find out." Remus spoke confidently, I was certain it was him.

"I'm betting whoever bewitched the broom was the one who poisoned Sirius." Alice, I think.

"Yeah, me too, cause Sirius was going to ride that broom!" Peter, I can distinguish his squeaky voice.

"Exactly, it was definitely a plot to get Sirius. But then why poison him, make him cowardly, _and _bewitch his broom?" Remus again.

"Maybe they wanted to be sure it'd work. Three plots are better than one, after all." Peter.

"Shut up, guys. Her eyes are opening!" Alice, so where was James?

"Lily? Lily?" I heard a rush of movement and my hand was taken by a large one I recognised. There he was.

"James…" I said groggily, trying to sit up. "Ouch," I mumbled, rubbing my head.

"No, no, don't get up, please don't, lie back, oh Lily, I thought, I thought…"

"Calm down, mate, she's ok, it's me you should be worried about, someone's plotting to kill me!" said a voice loudly from the next bed. Everyone laughed and I noticed Sirius grinning towards us.

"What happened?" I asked quietly.

James groaned and sunk into a chair next to my bed, pressing my hand to his cheek, which was very cold.

Alice, who was sat on my other side, spoke up. "What do you want to know?"

"I know I fell…"

"About fifty feet" mumbled James, his voice high-pitched. I swear I heard a strangled sob, too.

"Yes, you fell, but James managed to catch you on his broom at about 20 feet, but he couldn't manage to keep you up, you'd fainted you see, so he lost control of the broom, and seriously, your were both dangling from it, he had one hand on you and the other on the broom, he tried to get you as low as possible but you fell- James got control of his broom again and dived after you, we swooped in but we were too late… we thought you'd broken your neck at least. But you haven't- just your ankle and your wrist…"

"Bad enough," said James, speaking into my hand.

Alice raised an eyebrow, but carried on, "You've bruised your head and neck, but otherwise you're okay. And you may have heard our conversation- the broom was definitely bewitched. Flitwick checked it out for us and proved it, we think it most likely that whoever poisoned Sirius bewitched the broom too. The match, we won, though, while you were getting whirled about above us James and I managed to score eighty points between us before we noticed you'd gone, Thomas and Henry kind of eliminated all the other players with snowballs, and then Jenny caught the bewitched snowball, threw it at their seeker, smacking them in the face might I add," she paused to high-five Jenny, "so we won!"

"Wow. And Sirius, are you ok?"

"Oh I'm fine, considering someone tried to do me in with three separate things!" he laughed.

Remus cleared his throat loudly and they all bustled over to Sirius' bed, leaving James and I alone. He stood up and closed the curtain surrounding me bed.

"Are you ok?" I asked, wary.

James' eyes- bloodshot and puffy- shot to me. "Am- am _I _ok?" he said hoarsely. "You just fell fifty feet off a bewitched broom in a snowstorm, break your ankle and wrist, bruise your head and neck, and you ask if _I'm _ok?"

"Umm, yeah, sorry."

He sat down and put his head in his hands once more. "How can you be so compassionate, even after someone's done this to you?" He sniffed.

"Er…"

"Don't speak, Lily, just rest," he took my hand once more and held it to his heart. "Can you feel that? It's been erratic since the moment I realised you were falling. It's only just beginning to slow down." Another loud sniff.

"I'm sorry."

"Shh! I- I can't believe you can- can even be civil with me- after- after I put you in so much danger. I understand if you don't want to see me anymore after this. I wouldn't. I've been so- so careless with you. You're so fragile, and I just took you for granted. I promise that if you, if you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, I…" More sniffs.

"James. None of this is your fault. You have to stop blaming yourself every time something like this happens. It's not your fault! I love you, and I don't blame you in the slightest!"

"Oh Lily, I was so worried! I really thought you'd gone. The moment I even contemplated the fact that your life had been taken from you before my very eyes, I, I…" he put his head in his hands once again, and instead of sniffs, I heard sobs.

"Don't be upset, James. Please don't let this affect us."

He looked up at me, a tear rolling down his cheek. "If I ever lost you…"

"You won't. You're stuck with me," I said bracingly, grinning, and reached for his hand.

He took mine and leant his face in to kiss it. "If you think I'm ever letting you go again…"

I smiled and turned away to stifle a yawn I didn't want him to see.

He looked alarmed, "Of course, you need rest! I'm so sorry, I'll fetch Madame Pomfrey, I'll only be a moment," he said reassuringly, and then "Alice! Alice! Come and look after Lily while I fetch…"

Alice slipped through the curtain, grinning. "I'm here, I'm here!"

"Hi, Alice," I smiled warmly and gestured to the chair James had just vacated.

"I'll only be a second…" James set, tearing his eyes away from my face and walking through the curtain.

"He's never going to let you go now, you know."

"I know," I laughed, "he just promised."

Alice giggled and reached for my hand. "I'm glad we're friends, Lil'."

"So am I," I smiled, touched by the sudden gesture, "and on the subject of friends, I think someone wants to be more than."

"What?"

"I think someone likes you, Alice."

"Who?"

"I've been sworn to secrecy, but seeing as it looks as though you like them too…"

"You can't possibly know who I like."

"I think I do."

"Who, then?"

"Gryffindor fourth year."

Alice blushed deeply. "Frank."

"Frank," I confirmed, nodding, adding an "Ouch!" when the pain struck.

Alice's face flashed with concern.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," I assured her, "and back to Frank, he definitely likes you, he admitted it to me!"

"Oh," Alice said thoughtfully, "well that's good then… I suppose…"

I let her think about it, happy with my matchmaking, and then suddenly James came bursting back through the curtain.

"Lily! Are you ok? Did anything happen while I was gone? Any pain? Anything you want me to get you?"

"Oh, stop flapping," said Madame Pomfrey, coming in with a steaming potion. "A draught for a dreamless sleep. Drink this, and you'll be out like a light," she said, smiling, handing me the goblet.

"Are you sure?" asked James, looking worried, his eyes still bloodshot.

Madame Pomfrey put her hands on her hips. "Are you the matron, or am I?" she said sternly, then "drink up, dear."

I struggled to drink the potion with my one hand that wasn't broken, first by pulling it out of Alice's grasp. "Here, let me," said James, rushing forward.

Madame Pomfrey huffed, but bustled off to Sirius.

The last thing I heard were her cries of, "That's it, everyone out! My patients are sleeping!" and James' pleas, "No, please Madame Pomfrey! She's, she's my girlfriend!"

"Absolutely not, young man!"

"But, but I love her!"

I smiled, and sank back into the pillows, welcoming sleep.


	13. A Month, James!

_Okay, so I know I promised to update every Sunday, and honestly, I will, but I was ill this week and so I couldn't get on my computer- aah! Well anyways, here it is, sorry it's late, and sorry it's really bad. I just needed to skip a few months so this is just another filler again I suppose, sorry! Please read and review, you know I love it when you do! Once again, sorry it's late, and sorry it's bad. You'll just have to trust me that the next chapter will be better! Molly xx_

I woke up to see a worried face smiling down at me.

"How are you?" James whispered, taking my healthy hand in both of his.

"Fine," I said groggily, trying to sit up.

"No, don't get up, lay back," James pushed me back onto the pillows carefully, concerned.

"No, James, I'm fine," I said, and sat up again, smoothing out my quilt.

"Well at least let me fluff your pillows," James said, and I leaned forward so that he could pound them into a comfortable shape. "Better?"

"Much," I smiled, "so what's been happening?"

"Nothing much really," he smiled, "I've been with by your side for as long as Madam Pomfrey would let me, but otherwise I've been discussing who bewitched the broom with everyone."

"Oh? And who do you all think it was?"

"All the team apart from Alice and I think it was Macmillan. Alice thinks it was some 4th year Slytherin she knows, but…"

"But? What do you, Sirius, Remus and Peter think?" I cast a glance to the next bed, from which Sirius is happily snoring.

"Well… Sirius, Peter and I- Remus has told me to tell you he has had nothing to do with this presumption- we think it was," he paused and looks down at our entwined hands, "Snape."

"Snape? Why would… oh!" I slip into a flashback.

I'm stood under the tree, James by my side, looking towards Severus, who says: "I see. So over big-headedness and jealousy you choose big headedness? Over Slytherin and Gryffindor you choose Gryffindor?"

"No, Severus, you don't see. I choose _him _over _you_."

The figure approaching the Quidditch Pitch, wand out, walking directly to the broom cupboard, perhaps.

Two bottles of butterbeer on the side in the common room the night before the match, one with a label around its neck reading "To Sirius- Good Luck", and the other with a label reading "To James- Good Luck".

I'm brought out of my reverie by James saying, "Lily? Lily?", repeatedly.

"No."

"What?" he looked at me, his hazel eyes puzzled.

"It might have been him," I can hear the shock in my own voice as I piece the facts together.

"How do you know?"

"Severus has recently had an argument with you and I. He hates Sirius anyway. I saw someone walking down to the Quidditch Pitch the day after the argument, wand out and heading for the broom cupboard. A black haired someone. There were two bottles in the common room that night- one for you and one for Sirius. Sirius drank them both, because you were too busy telling me about the game… Sirius must have drunk both the potions. I think the cowardice potion was meant for you, so that you wouldn't play, and then the sickness would be for Sirius, so that he couldn't play… then the broom was bewitched so that if one of you _did _play it would finish the job… unless the broom that was bewitched was meant for me…" I trailed off.

"No. Well, yes, but I think you got some parts wrong. The two bottles of butterbeer- they were for me and Sirius- but Snape knew that I would probably give mine to you or someone else; because everyone knows that I never drink before a match. Sirius was supposed to get the sickness one, so that he couldn't play, but _you _were supposed to get the cowardice one, so that you wouldn't show up at the match, and I'd fall out with you…"

"And then you were supposed to get on the broom!" I cry, eyes widening.

"A well thought out plot worthy of Severus Snape," says James grimly.

"Surely… surely not…" I stare at the bandage on my wrist, "He wouldn't…"

"I'm sorry Lily," James whispered.

"What have you got to be sorry for?" I say quietly, closing my eyes and falling back onto my pillows.

"I'm sorry that your best friend would treat you this way."

Why does he have to be so considerate, so bloody _perfect _all the time? "It's not your fault. And he's not my best friend. You are." I try to smile but a sharp pain in my throat stops me. Tears are welling up, and suddenly they're spilling down my cheeks.

"Oh_ Lily_, don't cry, please don't," James takes a tissue out of his pocket and begins to dab at my cheeks. Then he sits back, and takes my hand once more. "It'll all be sorted out, don't worry, I promise."

I let out a strangled sob- surely he won't go plotting something with Sirius again? I try not to think about it, and concentrate on the soft tune James is humming to me. I recognise it and almost smile. The ballad of the Lilies.

-

I come out of the hospital the day term starts, pleased to see the school full again. James is tactful enough not to mention anything to do with what happened, but just walks faithfully beside me as always, chatting about any random thing, hoping to keep my mind off it. Sometimes it works, but sometimes, when I look at Sirius- who jokes about checking his pumpkin juice for poisons before he drinks it, or James- wincing when he looks at my pained face, it all comes flooding back. How could anyone do something like that?

Even thought I don't know it's him, I find myself completely ignoring Severus. We did have that big argument, after all. This time, I just can't condone what he did. He seems fine with the fact that I'm ignoring him, anyway. James definitely is.

In class the lessons are becoming harder, as our NEWTs are approaching. Everyone is having to work really hard now, whether they want to or not. Teachers are pressing more homework on us than we can handle, and everyone is suffering from the strain.

-

Time passes, and suddenly we're in May, a month before our exams.

"A month, James, a month!" I cry, rifling through my charms notes in a fluster.

"I know, Lil', I know," he sighs, rubbing his forehead, "In a month it'll all be over."

"But a month! Only a month to revise everything!"

"Lily, you've been revising for months already, I'm sure it'll be fine," he says wearily, taking off his glasses and polishing them with the edge of his robe.

"Easy for you to say," I say under my breath, then demand, "Test me!"

James hastily replaces his glasses at the snappy tone of my voice. "In what?"

"Charms," I say, flinging my charms notes at him and leaning back into my chair, only to sit up again a moment later, chewing my nails anxiously.

"Hey, don't do that," he says, carefully taking my hand away from my mouth. He leans in, his cool breath washing over me, and suddenly he's kissing me, so deeply I can barely draw breath, I don't want to pull away…

"James!" I say, pushing him away as I gasp for air. "You're supposed to be testing me!"

"Ok, ok," he says, but he's grinning.

I smile back, unable to stop myself. He looks so wonderful, his hair all messed up, smiling from our kiss… I shake my head reluctantly, ridding it of James, and filling it with charms.

"So, what is the incantation used to stop any sound?" James says, randomly flipping through the papers, selecting questions at random.

"_Silencio_."

"Well done!" he beams at me, and I raise an eyebrow. "I'm just trying to be supportive!" he says indignantly.

"I know, I know, you do it very well," I say, laughing.

"And how do you produce a jet of water from your wand?"

"_Aguamenti_?"

"Yup. You're gonna ace this test, Lil'."

He leans forward over the papers again, his black hair spilling onto his forehead, searching for another question, and I smile softly to myself, because I know that I have the most perfect boyfriend, and I shall never let him go.


	14. Transfiguration Exams

_I'm so sorry, I've not posted anything in ages! I've been so busy though, I went to Ireland for three days, Manchester for two, shopping with my friend... a whirlwind of activity but no FanFiction! Aaah! But now I'm back with plenty more updates that will be revealed in the next few days, I'll soon get back on schedule! Anyways, here's the next chapter, and it's exam time! Please read and review, virtual lucky charms from Ireland for all!_

Exams were approaching faster and faster and soon they were upon us. James and I sat up late revising the night before, ready for our first exam in the morning.

"Right, so let me just check, tomorrow we have Transfiguration Theory in the morning and Transfiguration Practical in the afternoon? Yes?" I snapped at no one in particular, rifling through my papers.

"Yes, Lily," said James calmly, catching my wrists and looking me straight in the eyes.

My retort caught in my throat, and the hypnotic power of his hazelnut eyes washed over me. I felt my body relax, and so did James, because he grinned. "Sorry," I said breathlessly, "I'm just…"

"Stressed?" supplied James, loosening his hold on my wrists and taking hold of my hands.

I closed my eyes and leaned back into the armchair. "I just want it to be over."

"I know," James said, stroking my palm with his thumb, "and it will be, soon, I promise. Two weeks and it's all over. Then we can relax. And maybe- maybe we can see each other in the summer?"

His hesitant tone caught me off-guard. "Maybe?" My eyes flicked open.

He looked tense, nervous. "Er, yeah, I mean, only if you want to…"

"James. We've been going out for over half a year now. I think we can safely say that we're going to see each other over the summer- unless, unless you don't want to?" I watch him warily, fully aware that my hands are still encased in his.

"Lily Evans," he said, still looking down at my hands, "I love you. Of course I want to see you over the summer. Every day, if I can."

I snatched my hands from his and threw them around his neck. "I love you too," I said, before kissing him.

In the morning James attempted to force feed me toast at breakfast while I bitterly protested and Sirius and Peter laughed. Remus rolled his eyes at me and we began studying feverishly as James, Sirius and Peter wolfed down eggs and bacon.

We waited in the entrance hall with the fifth years until we were called into our Transfiguration theory exam. Seeing as there were only 26 of us sitting it, we were put in a separate antechamber off the hall, but the layout of the desks were the same- individual desks in long rows. I hobbled into my seat behind Marcia Edwin, and looked back at James, who winked and put his thumbs up. I smiled shakily and turned back around to face the front. The invigilator flicked his wand and suddenly parchment and test papers were flying about the room. Someone was shuffling along the rows distributing no-cheat quills.

When everyone was seated and ready, the invigilator called "You may begin, you have one hour," and there was a flurry of movement as everyone bent low to their papers to begin.

_1.__Describe the incantation, and wand movement, of a spell used to move a chosen object around in the air at the will of the caster._

With surprise that I actually knew the answer, or thought I did, I began to write.

"What did you think?" James asked as I met him in the entrance hall an hour later.

"Well… the first few questions were quite simple, but it did get harder as it wore on, unless I underestimated it and the first questions were actually harder than I thought and I should have answered in more detail…" I gabbled in panic.

I must have looked worried, because James took my hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "I'm sure you did fine," he smiled.

"Well, that was a breeze," said Sirius, sauntering out of the antechamber with a grin on his face.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Lupin grimaced, "some of those were pretty hard…"

"Yeah, I hadn't a clue about most of them, the first was difficult, wasn't it? Was it _Wingardium Leviosa_?"

I froze. I hadn't put that. What if I was wrong?

"No, stupid, it was _Locomotor_!" Sirius laughed superciliously.

Cool relief spread threw me. "Is that what you put, James, Remus?" I asked with what I hoped was a casual air.

"Yep," James said flippantly.

"Yes, do you think its right?" Remus' brow furrowed.

"Of course it is, what other spell moves the object around in the air at the caster's will?" said James, taking out his wand.

We'd reached the common room now, where we had to practice for our practical exam.

"Watch," said James, pointing his wand at a heavy book on the table I had just sat down at, and saying "_Wingardium Leviosa_!"

The book rose several inches in the air before hovering expectantly, James lazily flicked his wand and it fell back to the table with a resounding thud.

"Did that move around in the air? No." James said before pointing his wand again, this time with the incantation "_Locomotor book_!"

The book rose quickly to a great height at the direction of James' wand, and flew around the room, bopping on several people's heads before drawing to a stop at Remus' hands, who took it. "Oh," he said.

"Did _that _move around in the air?"

We all laughed for a moment, giddy on the fact that we had all got at least one question right, aside from Peter, and then I pulled my transfiguration book towards me, sighing. Remus joined me quickly and then Sirius and James begrudgingly began to revise too. Peter simply sat in the chair, his eyes unfocused, twiddling his wand between his fingers, sometimes causing it to shoot random showers of sparks out of the end.

We performed spells on various objects around the common room until there was nothing more we could do in preparation. At lunch we headed down to the great hall, where the rest of the fifth and seventh years were looking grim as they gingerly approached their food.

I had stomach only for an apple and a slice of unbuttered bread. Sirius scorned, but James shushed him and proceeded to cut up my apple into a smiley face. I grinned, feeling a little better about the afternoon, as I took hold of his hand.

We waited in the grounds until we were called back into our final exam, and then waited in a small room down the first floor corridor to be called into our transfiguration practical, once again in the antechamber off the entrance hall.

In no time at all, the wheezy old invigilator poked his head round the door frame and said "Marcia Edwin, Lily Evans, if you please!"

James pulled me to me feet and hugged me tightly before walking me to the door. He, Peter and Remus whispered good luck as I shut the door behind me.

"I'll be examining you, dear," said the female invigilator, who I knew to be Madam Marchbanks, stepping forwards to meet me.

"Ok," I said softly, not at all sure she had heard. I followed her to a corner of the room where she sat on a high stool, and pulled a clipboard to her chest.

"Lily Evans?"

"Ye- yes."

"Gryffindor house?"

"Yes."

"Ah yes, I have you write here. Well then, we must proceed. We'll start with something simple. Could you please enlarge this mouse," she indicated a mouse scurrying about in a box on the floor, "to a most irregular size, then change it's colour to let's say a nice zesty lemon, then reduce it to its original size, my dear?"

Enlarge, yellow, then back to it's original size? I breathed a sigh of relief before making the mouse the size of dog.

When I had finished the string of different tasks (some much weirder than a dog sized zesty lemon mouse) she set me, Madam Marchbanks clapped her hands in surprise, "Bravo! Bravo! Excellently done, my dear! Excellent!" She beamed as she took my hand in both of hers, before saying sincerely, "You'll do well, my dear, mark my words. I wouldn't be surprised if you- well, let's just say you are a very talented witch. Very well done!"

I left the antechamber on a high to wait for James in the entrance hall, and found Sirius sat outside.

"How did you do?" I asked, smiling.

"Oh, excellent, of course. I considered showing the old duffer I was an Animagus for a bit of extra credit, but then I realised I'm an _illegal _Animagus," he laughed, before adding, "you?"

"Very well, actually! I was surprised, but she told me I was a very talented witch, and I'd do well, mark her words!" I laughed too.

Sirius sniggered. "Ooh, get you!"

We chatted for a while about what tasks we had individually received (Sirius roared with laughter at my dog sized zesty lemon mouse), until Remus came out.

"Moony! Get on alright?"

Remus shrugged modestly. "Oh, you know, it was ok…" he said bashfully.

"Ours both went really well, didn't they, Lil'? They told her she was a talented witch and everything!"

"Wow, Lily, seriously? That's great!" Remus beamed.

"Yeah, she was a bit mad though, I suppose…"

"Oh come off it, you'll have done brilliantly!" Sirius laughed and I blushed.

Eventually Peter and James came out, James smiling but Peter looking worried once again.

"How did…"

"It go? Great," I smiled, running forward to hug him, "and you?"

"Couldn't have gone better, almost…"

"Showed her the Animagus? Me too!" Sirius and James laughed heartily while Remus looked anxiously at me. I shrugged.

"How about you, Peter?" I asked.

"Not so good, got a fair few things wrong, but I definitely got one right, I managed to move my orange about thanks to your demonstration this morning, James!"

"Really! Well, I'm glad I've taught you something," James said distractedly, running his fingers through his hair. "Shall we go down to the lake?"

"No! We have to revise! It's potions tomorrow and I cannot fail that!" snapped Remus.

"Ok, ok!" said Sirius, "let's go down later though, we can take brooms."

James grinned, but Remus and I raised our eyebrows.

"After dinner, of course, that is, eh Prongs?" Sirius interjected.

"Only if Lily's ok with it…"

"Of course I am! You go and have fun, as long as you revise after, you _must _revise James, you really must."

"We'll only go down for half an hour, for a breath of fresh air. Is that cool with you, Moony?" asked Sirius, smirking.

"Well- if you have to…"

"Let them, Remus, they'd only be mucking about anyway…"

"Ok, but we're revising, yes?"

"That's sorted, then! Me and Sirius will go down for a quick game, and you and Remus can revise," grinned James.

"Can I come with you?" perked up Peter who was trailing behind.

"Sure…" said Sirius, but I distinctly saw him roll his eyes.

James let Peter get in front of us, who continued to trail after Remus and Sirius, now marching off ahead.

"Are you ok?" I asked, as James grabbed my hand and tugged me down an empty corridor.

"No," he grunted, and I instantly started to panic.

Breathing shallowly, I managed to whisper tentatively, "why?"

James grinned and breathing slowed. "I haven't not kissed you all day," he said before leaning in and catching me in one of those heartstopping kisses which took my breath once more.

_Aww.. R&R!_


	15. Perfect

_Okay, so I mentioned at the start of "Trust me" that I might put this on hiatus because of the lack of ideas I had for the future of it. After contemplating different ways I could take this fic on, I have decided to struggle on! YAY.  
Please read and review, as usual, and a special thank-you to IHeartHP95, because your review made me carry on. Thanks. Also, don't worry, because sometimes my "characters" get busy too._

"Lily Evans! Over here, if you please," called the invigilator and I hurried forward to take my place behind Marcia Edwin for the fifth time that week. Yesterday's exams, in Charms, had gone fairly well, but now I had Potions to contend with, which was a very different type of subject.

I looked down at the back of the paper, going over all the facts I needed to know while the rest of us were seated. A certain name brought me from my thoughts, and my head snapped round.

James was just sitting down- he caught my eye and winked at me, before mouthing "Good luck!"

I smiled back and gave him the thumbs up before turning back to my paper. I twisted my quill over and over in my fingers while waiting for the invigilator to signal the start of the exam, thinking of the hour James and I had spent happily by the lake last night, revision and stress free.

"You may begin!"

There was a flurry of papers and scratching as quills as everyone began the exam, and I followed suit.

"Well, thank Merlin that's over," sighs James as her throws himself down at the Gryffindor table at dinner. "No more worries now until the results, eh?"

"I'll be worried _until _the results come, I'm sure I got question 16 wrong on Monday…" Remus says distractedly, sitting down opposite James and I.

"Oh, come off it, Moony, if there's anyone that needs to be worried… well, it's not you." Sirius says, with a wink at James.

"Are we all going to celebrate this weekend then?" I interrupt.

"Sounds great!" says James, squeezing my hand.

"How about a little firewhiskey?" Sirius butts in eagerly.

"Wow," Peter says softly.

"I will, on the sole condition that I do not have to drink any firewhiskey, being that I _am_ a prefect," Remus says regally.

"Oh, get off your high horse and join the rest of us lowly mortals," laughs Sirius, elbowing him.

I can actually relax now, feeling the tension ebbing away as I laugh with who are now my best friends. James holds my hand throughout dinner while we arrange the festivities for the weekend. McGonagall's arranged a Hogsmeade trip (bless her), so we're all going to go down to stock up on sweets and butterbeer for later and have a laugh. Then we're going to come back, have a massive game of Quidditch with everyone, and have picnics and stuff on the grass. The whole seventh year will be there- it'll be amazing!

"What're we doing tonight, though?" asks Peter eagerly as we finalise the plans.

James shifts in his seat, looking uncomfortable. "Well… I was going to hang out with Lily."

"But it's okay; we can all do something together!" I say quickly. James flashes me a grateful smile, but continues.

"No, no, I really just want to spend time with Lily tonight, if that's ok."

Sirius goes all wink wink, nudge nudge, so I butt in again. "We're going down to Hagrid's."

James looks startled but I wink at him.

"Oh, okay then, well have fun," says Remus hastily, "we'll go and, er…"

"Play Quidditch!" says Sirius excitedly.

"Yeah!" exclaims Peter.

Remus groans as James and I make our goodbyes and escape outside. We don't actually go to Hagrid's, but flop down under a tree round the back of the castle.

I lie on my back and shut my eyes, breathing in the summer air. James stays sat up, and I open my eyes slightly to look at him. He's staring down at me, a tender expression on his face. I shut my eyes again tightly and turn my head away, embarrassed. I can feel my cheeks going red.

"I love it when you blush," he says unexpectedly.

I go redder, and open my eyes. "Uhh, thanks," I laugh.

He touches one of my cheeks with the back of his hand. "You're really beautiful, you know," he continues, catching a strand of my flaming hair and twirling it around his fingers.

"So are you," I notice as a piece of dark hair falls onto his forehead, not quite touching his glasses, from which his hazel eyes are kind and inviting.

He laughs. "I really am absolutely and truly in love with you, Lily Evans."

I sit up sharply. "You are?" He's said it before, of course, but never with this absolute sincerity, truth ringing in every word.

"Truly, madly, deeply."

I look at him watching me, his hand still in my hair, his eyes earnest and warm. He's sat cross legged- making him look so innocent, vulnerable, even- despite him being so tall. His hair is untidy, messed up at the back where he's been ruffling it. I take all this in, the kind expression on his face endearing too, and I feel more in love with him than ever. I suddenly realise that this is not just a crush, not just a period of my life where I'll have dated the famous James Potter, this is forever.

"I've never felt this way before."

"Great, isn't it?" he grins.

"Exhilarating. Just to see your face- it sends shivers down my spine."

He laughs again. "You really are everything to me, you know. I- I couldn't imagine my life without you."

I think about it for a second. I'd still be hanging around with Severus at lunchtimes- I push this thought firmly from my head. I'm shocked to find that neither could I. "I don't think I could either."

He smiles radiantly. "I was thinking, in the holidays, that perhaps it's time, perhaps, for you, er, to, meet my parents?"

Wow. Unexpected. But I find, somehow, that I want to. "I'd love to," I say sincerely, "and you mine?" Something drops in my stomach. I remember Petunia, and how I haven't exactly told him… haven't made it very clear of my predicament. "Only, I have something to tell you about my family first."

Concern lights his face, but he collects himself, trying to be indifferent, "Shoot."

"I've told you about my sister…"

"Petunia? Yeah, she's non-magical, right?"

My face softens when he says non-magical instead of Muggle. "Yes, that's right. My parents, and come to think of it, probably all my ancestors are too."

He looks worried. "That doesn't matter, Lily, I've told you, you're still as bright as someone who's descended from a whole _line _of pure-bloods, I mean, look at Peter, you're way cleverer than him."

"It's not that I'm a mudblood-"

"Don't call yourself that!"

"-I couldn't care less about that, it's just my sister, Petunia, we don't, she doesn't really, well, she doesn't speak to me, anymore," I say, my head drooping.

"Why?"

"She- she wants magic too. I think she's just jealous that she couldn't be part of this world- she couldn't stand that I had something she didn't, but she hides that, she's too proud to admit it, but she won't reason, she won't talk to me. She thinks I'm a freak, you see." I finish sadly.

"How- how- how can she think _you're _a freak?" I can see he's struggling not to get angry with Petunia.

"No, it's not her fault, it's mine, actually, but I just wish- I just wish she'd listen to me. I love her, and it's the worst pain in the world to know that she despises me." A tear rolls down my cheek before I can stop it, and James pulls my head onto his chest, putting his arms around me.

"Don't worry, Lily, we'll sort it, don't worry. When I meet her I'll explain it all to her, we'll get you back on speaking terms, don't worry, please."

"Oh James. She was my best friend, before."

"I know, I know. We'll get it sorted out, don't worry. Do you want to hear about my family?"

"I'd love to," I sniff.

"Well, I've got my mum and my dad, they're very nice, they'll love you, in fact, they already do, I've told them so much about you…" Tears well up in my eyes again.

"You did?"

"Of course, Lily, I think my mum still has the first letter I sent to her about you. It was in first year, when we were eleven, and I'd met you and I told her all about you, how you were really, really pretty and was I allowed to fancy a redhead seeing as she was one?"

I'm still cradled in his arms, and he's rocking me now. "Your mum's a redhead, like me?"

"Naturally. All the Potter's go for redheads," he laughs. "And then I have my brother, but you know him."

"Your brother? You don't have a brother!"

"Not by blood. But ever since first year I've felt that Sirius was my brother. He even lives with me, now, ever since his family… well, they're not nice, see."

I had no idea James valued his friends so highly.

"I suppose Remus and Peter are like my brothers too, but less so. Me and Sirius- we're close. I don't think I could have said there was anyone I was closer to than Sirius before I met you."

"Oh. I'm sorry I stole you away from him, I must apologise to him."

"Lily! Don't be sorry for anything! You're the best, the sole best thing in my life, and without you, I dunno, yeah, me and Sirius would still be as close as we are now, but I'd still have something missing. You complete me."

"Before you, I only really had Severus, and Tuney. I mean, I'm friends with the girls in our year, but they all divide up, and I don't, I don't seem to fit with them, somehow. I don't know, all my relationships seem to fail, first Tuney, then Sev…"

"_We_ haven't failed, and I promise you, we're not going to on my terms." He squeezes me tighter to his chest and I sigh.

"Why are you so perfect?"

He laughs. "I could say the same to you."


	16. Photographs and a Goodbye

_Chapter 17, wow. As usual, read and review, and thanks for all the reviews last time!  
If you like this fic, I have written a new one completely centred around the Marauders, so check it out, it's called Mischief Managed.  
Thanks, Molly x_

**Photographs and a Goodbye**

I run my hand through my hair as I bend over my trunk, checking to see if I've got everything. I can't believe I'm packing it for the last time.

The last bits of this year have gone so fast- it's unbelievable. And now, now, the outside world awaits…

A tear forms in my eye as I look around the room. I've slept here for seven years, with the fellow seventh year Gryffindor girls, and now I'll never see this room again. I look on my bedside table at the camera James gave me last week. He hadn't explained why he'd given it to me… and now I understood.

I snapped a picture of the dormitory, then one of my bed, and out of the window, and then I ran out into the corridor to take one of the door, with the plaque reading "Gryffindor Seventh Year Girls".

Downstairs I take several pictures of the common room, and the people in it, and go looking for James. He said he was going to spend this last evening playing Quidditch with his team, his last fly as captain.

I take more photographs as I fly through the corridors and into the entrance hall. I run as fast as my legs can carry me to find James, the one picture I really want.

And there he is, looking so unbelievable perfect as usual, flying around the pitch. I take a few shots of the team flying, and then Sirius, larking about, before I shout him over.

"James! James!"

He looks mournful as he turns his head to look at me from his great height, then breaks into a grin as he sees it's me. He flies down at an alarming speed, stopping very abruptly in front of me.

"You realised!"

"Of course, now, let me take some pictures of you!"

He allows me to take one, then calls Sirius over, snatches the camera from my hands, and lobs it to him. "Of me and Lily, Padfoot!"

"Sure," Sirius grins, and begins clicking away as James whirls me about. After plenty of different poses, James yells, "Last pic', Padfoot, you ready?"

Sirius winks, and James grins before leaning in to kiss me. I hear the click of the camera before James pulls away, smiling hugely.

"That'll be an amazing picture, James," says Sirius, jogging over, "I can tell."

"Thanks, mate," James says, taking the camera back and handing it to me.

"How about some of you two?" I suggest casually.

They grin mischievously at each other and leap into action, strutting about so that I'm in fits of laughter.

"What's that pose called?" I ask, giggling, when they simultaneously stop for me to take a picture. I realise how very striking they both are.

Sirius looks at James, and bursts into peals of laughter.

James, struggling for breath, manages to say, "Elvendork," as seriously as possible, before succumbing to bending over double to laugh, just like Sirius.

"What!?"

"It's…" Sirius laughs, shaking so hard his face is reddening.

"It's unisex!" cries James, and they have to grip each other to stop them falling over.

"You remember?" Sirius grins, wiping tears from his eyes.

"How could I not? Elvendork- it's unisex, mate."

They collapse into peals of laughter, their arms round each other, and I snap the last picture of them.

"Oh, look, there's Remus and Peter!" I say as I notice two figures approaching us.

Sirius and James struggle to compose themselves when they arrive and we toss the camera about, taking shots of us as a group, in twos, threes, etc.

Finally, when we've run out of poses, we flop down on the grass, to spend time with each other on our final night at Hogwarts. There's one thought nagging at the back of my mind, though, one person I haven't taken a picture of.

Suddenly I sit up. I can't lie here, having fun, not knowing…

"I've just remembered, I haven't taken any pictures of McGonagall, or any of the teachers," I say automatically.

"Want me to come?" James sits up too, but I can tell he really just wants to spend time with his friends.

"No, no, it's fine, you Marauders have your last time together, you'd be bored, anyway, James."

"If you're sure…"

"Absolutely, see you later, guys, James," I blow him a kiss and he catches it half-heartedly, because he's staring at me intently. Before he can guess where I'm really going, I wave one final goodbye and make a run for it.

I know it's a guess, but I've got a feeling he'll be in the restricted section of the library, cramming his brain with as many potions as he can before we leave. That's the only place I can think of, anyway, so I go straight there.

The library, is of course, empty, apart from old Madam Pince who glares at me for disturbing her. I head for the restricted section, being that I'm allowed there seeing as I'm a seventh year, and sure enough, there is a dim glow, as if there's a lantern on somewhere.

I skirt the rope and sure enough, he's there poring over a book, his nose almost touching the page as he feverishly makes notes.

"Severus?"

He doesn't look up, but bends lower over his book. I sit down in the chair opposite him.

"Severus. Please?"

He still pretends to read, only his eyes are fixed on the same spot.

"I know this year's been difficult,"

He snorts.

"But I came to say, that I really hope you have a great life."

He snorts again.

"And I really am hoping, praying… well, I've heard there's a certain dark wizard about, and, and, he's recruiting, er, followers, and I was kind of hoping…"

He finally looks up, his black eyes scrutinizing me. "Hoping what, Evans?"

The formality catches me. I stare.

"Were you hoping that I wouldn't join? Let me guess- for you? So that you can live in peace with Potter for the rest of your lives, knowing that I won't become a follower of The Dark Lord?"

I nod slowly. The Dark Lord? Everyone else calls him He Who Must Not Be Named.

"That's a lost cause, Evans."

He goes back to his book as ice floods through my body. "No, Severus, please, please, I beg of you, don't join him." I keep my voice as low as possible.

"I've already told you, Evans, you're wasting your time. I plan to join as soon as I've left this wretched school, not that _you_ needed to know."

"Severus, please, what happened?"

"What happened?" he looks up again, his eyes piercing me, "Potter happened, Lily," he catches himself, "I mean, Evans, old habits die hard."

"I can't help that, he's a decent person, if only you'd just get to know him,"

"That is something I shall never do, for as long as I live. I shall _never _like a Potter, or even think of a Potter as an acquaintance. Potters are a breed that I shall always loathe."

I blink away tears. "Severus, I don't care how you feel about James, how you feel about me, I just need you to tell me you won't join them." I beseech him with my eyes.

"Then I can't tell you anything, can I?"

"Please…" I reach for his wrist, closing my hand around it.

He stares down at our link for a moment, then snatches his hand away, and I notice tears in his own eyes.

"I love you, Lily. But that was never enough for you, was it?"

I stare at him, so he answers his own question.

"No, it wasn't, it was never, ever enough. It never shall be enough, not now you have Potter to run to. See, I had you to keep me going for all those years, in fact, I regret to say I needed you. And sometimes I like to think that you needed me too. But then you found Potter, or Potter found you, whatever, and you no longer needed me. I was just a friend, no longer a best friend, and I was discarded like a broken wand. And you may say, you made time for me, you tried with me, but, Lily, dear sweet Lily, this did not suffice. You changed the day you succumbed to him, Lily. And so you no longer needed me, but him. And gradually you were slipping away from me, changing into his girlfriend, rather than my friend. And one day, that was it. You'd gone. You're not Lily, any more, Lily. Not _my_ Lily, anyway. You're Potter's Lily, I'm afraid.

"So there I was. I had no one. I needed Lily, but she'd gone. You'd gone. I needed something else to claim my attention, to need me back. I tried in all my studies, but how can a potion need you back? It can't, you see, and this theory of needing something to need me back deepened. I needed something to need.

"And then I heard a whisper, between teachers, of the rising power of a certain dark wizard. None of them dared speak his name, and I began to wonder. Was he really as powerful as they feared? Could he really change the world? Now, I highly doubted this, but I pondered it, and deduced with perhaps the right allies, the right followers, if you will, he could. And that was the day I decided that perhaps he would need me, and my skills, excuse my arrogance, but I suppose you'll be used to that by now, being his girlfriend, but anyway, yes, I supposed that he might need me and my skills in potion making.

"So I wrote to an old friend of mine, well, more of an acquaintance, actually, by the name of Lucius Malfoy. He'd done well for himself, well established in the darker world and yet acclaimed in the good too. I wrote to him for news on this Dark Wizard, and he replied, telling me that he himself had already joined the lucky few who called themselves his followers- the Death Eaters- or so they call themselves. He told me that anyone was eligible to join, in essence, they just had to request a meeting, and if they were useful enough, they were initiated. I think myself useful enough for such an organisation, don't you?"

He didn't wait for me to answer, but ploughed on. "Yes, yes, very useful indeed, I figured, and so I wrote back to Lucius, thanking for him for his advice, and suggesting that as soon as I leave school I might request a meeting with the dark wizard. And Lucius agreed that I would indeed be very useful, and spoke to the, er, Dark Lord, as us followers name him. And the Dark Lord, as wonderful as he is, agreed to meet me, in the days after I leave school. And so here we are. I have in spirit already been initiated, and so your complaints shall go unnoticed. Is there anything else you would like to know?"

All this had been said in a cold, posh voice, while Severus sneered at me. He seemed to be quite enjoying himself. I stare back at him, open-mouthed, and then collected myself.

"You've already made your decision, then." It wasn't a question.

"Indefinitely."

"Well, Severus, if I can call you that, or would you, perhaps prefer _Lord_?" I say, mocking him.

"You dare be so insolent?"

"You dare be so, so, stupid?"

He smirks. "See what you have become. You used to be able to argue with me so well, I recall, and now, reduced to a good little puppet of Potter's."

"I have changed, I cannot deny that," I say clearly, "but so have you. And there are differences between our changes. I have changed for the better."

"None of this makes any difference to me, I shall be a Death Eater in a few days, after all, and so love or friendship shall have no ranking in my life."

"No, because all you care about now is the _Dark Lord_ and killing people?"

"Killing people?"

"Severus, he won't just want you to whip up a batch of Felix Felicis every time he's down on his luck. You'll be _murdering_ people, that's what they're saying, people who know; you'll be murdering poor, innocent people, Severus. Are you skilled enough to do that, for your Lord?"

He falters slightly. "The Dark Lord will understand, I am only a youth, after all."

"Severus," I say, shaking my head, "he doesn't want potion makers, he wants cold-hearted killers."

"I shall explain…"

"He won't listen. You don't do what he wants- you're dead yourself."

"I've already made the appointment, if you think you can dissuade…"

"Join the Order of The Phoenix, Severus, you can't deny you haven't heard of them? They're good people, they're planning to fight, it's all Dumbledore's idea,"

"The fool. Doesn't he know what he's dealing with?"

"The Order will value potion makers like you, Severus, you'll be of great help to them- _they_ need you."

"Lily, stop this. I've let you go too far. I'm joining the Death Eaters, and that's a fact. Now, if you'll excuse me…" He stands up, and looks down at me.

"Severus, please don't…" I stand up too.

"I'm already in. Goodbye, Lily."

"Then- I just have one more thing to ask of you, seeing as you've already joined. I'd just like, I'd just like something to remember you by, for all the good times, when we needed each other."

His face softens, but his tone is still harsh. "What do you request?"

"A photograph?" I hold up the camera lamely.

He raises his eyebrows in disbelief, but then weakens. "One."

"Of us together," I say, hoping he won't cause a fuss.

His eyebrows rise further but he doesn't say anything. He nods once, and I stand next to him, holding the camera out away from us so that I can take the picture.

I don't smile, and I know he isn't, either. I just concentrate on all the good times we've had, and look up at him. I'm sure he's remembering too, and his expression softens, if only for a second, and that's when I snap the picture.

"Is that all?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Then I'll bid you goodbye. And by the way, this really is goodbye, forever, you know."

"I know. Goodbye."


	17. Going Home

_Right, firstly, sorry it's taken me so long to update, but my family kidnapped me to go on holiday for two weeks, so there is a good reason. Secondly, I'm sorry about the crappiness of this chapter. It is AWFUL. But seriously, I didn't have a clue how to write this one, so it's just a filler for my next chapters. Don't worry, I will get back on track. The next chapter, which I'm going to post very soon to make up for this awful one, WILL be better. I promise to you all, my faithful readers and reviewers, that my writing of this fic will improve.  
Okay, so on a lighter note, I'm doing a new one-shot centred around Neville and Luna, which will be out later today, so look out for that, and also, almost ALL my other stories will be updated this week. I'm hoping all of them, in fact. We'll just have to see.  
So, as usual, read, enjoy, and review, even though you probably will hate this chapter so much I will get no reviews at all, but I deserve it. Gah.  
Molly x_

**Going Home**

Some of us are cheering, some crying. We're all huddled on the platform, saying last farewells and taking a last look at the castle. Some of the teachers have come down too; McGonagall just released James and Sirius from a headlock of a hug that left her sobbing and them grinning. Tears are welling up in my own eyes as I take in everyone for a last time. James, of course, hasn't let go of my hand the entire morning. I don't know where I'd be without him.

The train pulls in at last, and everyone piles in, seventh years trying to cram into one carriage so that we can flit between the compartments to do last hugs. When at last McGonagall has called order and everyone is sat down as normal, the train pulls out from the station, and we all fly to stick our heads out of the window for our last glimpse of Hogwarts.

"Why don't we have a nosy along the train, using your Head Girl status?" suggests James.

"Sure," I smile, and we get up and leave our overcrowded compartment, where Sirius, Remus and Peter are challenging some Hufflepuffs to a ferocious game of exploding snap. Just before we shut the door we hear Sirius.

"I'll bet my life savings…"

"Which isn't much," continues James with a smirk and I giggle.

We stop at the window of every compartment, and if we know the people inside, slip in to say goodbye. We notice Frank and Alice in one, holding hands, but not before Alice notices us and screams as she rushes out to meet us.

"I can't believe you're going!" she cries and throws herself into my arms.

"I know, it's so hard, I really can't believe it," I say, hugging her and waving at Frank.

"Any plans for now, then?" says Frank.

James grins and whispers, "We're joining the Order."

"The Order!" screams Alice.

"Shh! Yes, Dumbledore invited us," I say.

"Wow," says Frank slowly. "The Order of the Phoenix. When do you start?"

"Right away, I think," says James.

I glance up and down the corridor. A Slytherin sixth year is standing a little further up. "Perhaps we'd better go…" I say, jerking my head up at the Slytherin.

"Oh!" says Alice. "Well, have a great time in Devon!" she adds loudly, so that the Slytherin can hear.

Frank rolls his eyes at me and holds out a hand for James to shake. James takes it, grinning. "See you on the outside, mate."

I hug Alice and Frank for a last time and then they go back inside their compartment.

"Anyone else you want to say bye to?" asks James, retaking my hand.

Well, there is one person. I just want to check if he's there…

"No, not really, but lets just go all the way up just in case, shall we?"

"Sure," grins James.

Severus is usually in the compartment just behind the driver, the one nobody else ever sits in, because the driver can hear everything that goes on in it. I know he said it was goodbye forever, but I'd like to see him one last time…

"Lily? We're at the driver's end. You don't want to say bye to the driver, do you?" James says, breaking me from my reverie.

"Oh, er, no, just let me…" I walk forward to the compartment, half-expecting to see him through the glass door, but of course, he isn't there. He did say it was goodbye forever.

"Lily?"

I notice something fluttering, caught in the window, and I walk into the compartment. I reach up and snatch it. It's a piece of paper, folded in half. I recognise the spidery hand-writing on it.

_I knew you'd check._

"Lily?" I suddenly remember James, stood in the corridor, and I tuck the paper into my pocket.

I turn around, and he's stood there, the door open, a confused expression on his face.

"Sorry, I, I, er, thought I saw, er…"

"You were looking for him, weren't you?" James says. He takes my hand.

"I'm sorry, I just thought, I just thought he might want to say goodbye one last time," I feel the note in my pocket. I don't want to lie to James. I take it out. "He left this."

"How do you know it's from him?"

"The writing on the front."

"That messy scrawl, you mean?"

I look at him sharply.

"Sorry. Are you going to read it?"

"Yes. No. I don't know."

"I think you should."

"Do you?"

"Of course. Read it now, where no one can see you but me. I won't judge you, Lily. I know you loved him, before…"

I look at James' pale face, his hazel eyes framed with his round glasses, and realise how hard this is for him, to have to comfort me on the loss of his own rival. "Are you sure?"

James smiles, if only briefly. "Positive. Sit down, and read it."

I sit and pat the space next to me, gesturing for James to sit too. Now he does smile. He sits, and I lean heavily against him. He puts his arm round me, and I open the letter. I take a deep breath, and read.

_I knew you'd check._

_I knew you didn't believe that I could say goodbye to you, like that, forever. I knew you'd come looking for me in the compartment I always like to sit in. I know you've brought him with you._

_But I have to remind myself it's not about him. It's about me, and you._

_I didn't want to write this, but I feel I owe you at least this after everything that's happened between us. But trust me; this will be my final correspondence to you._

_You're probably wondering why I'm not on the train. This morning, instead of standing bawling like the rest of you, I'm going to slip away from the station and hide until the train comes in. I'll bewitch the note to fly into the small crack in the window, watch you get on the train, and then walk down to Hogsmeade. There, I'll apparate. I won't tell you where to, and what I'll do there. Just that I'm apparating away from here._

_Now that that's explained, I can say what I have to say. Here goes._

_As you know, I loved you. I loved you from almost the moment I met you until you became his. I don't love you anymore, I promise._

_All I want now if for you to realise that you should hold no affection for me anymore. Please, just forget about me if you can. Get him to cast a memory charm on you or something, just please, forget me. Never try to contact me in any way. This is my last request of you, and I beg you to grant it. Please, forget me._

_I doubt I'll remember you after a while. We'll just forget each other and move on, like we must do. The good times are already fading. In fact, I'm glad for James Potter for taking you away, because now I can get on with my life, no one to hold me down. I'm a free bird, as they say. No obligations._

_So, to conclude…_

_Forget me._

All I'm aware of are the tears on my face, the dead weight of the letter in my hand, and the strength and comfort of James' arms around me.

After a while the tears dry up, and James is stroking my hair, wiping my face, and we're getting up and he's carrying my luggage… and we're getting off the train… and he's talking quietly to my parents, and they're hugging me… and I'm in the car, and my mum's arms are around me…

But the arms don't feel right. I suddenly sit up, wiping my face with the back of my hand.

"Are you okay, sweetie? Feeling better? That boy said you were very upset about leaving everyone." He didn't want to hurt their feelings with the truth. That I'm crying for my friend that I'll never see again, the one I must forget.

"I'm fine now I think, just, just an emotional day, that's all…" I fake a smile and look around the car. My dad's driving in the front, looking at me through the mirror with a concerned expression. Petunia isn't here, of course, and my Mum's sat beside me in the back. "Where's- where's James?"

"James, honey? Who's that?" says Mum, leaning forward to wipe my hair from my face.

I'd forgotten I hadn't yet told my family about him. About our relationship. About anything. "The boy, the boy at the station."

"Which one? There were plenty."

"She means the one that brought her over to us don't you, Lily?" my father intervenes.

"Yes, that's the one. Where is he?"

"Probably gone home like all the rest of the kids," says Mum, "why?"

"He didn't say where he was going? He didn't leave a number, anything? He didn't say goodbye?"

"What do you mean, Lily? Who is this boy, this James? Why would he leave a message for you?" says Mum impatiently.

"Pumpkin," says Dad calmly, "was James supposed to leave a message?"

"Yes! I thought he'd at least say goodbye!" I can't understand it. I check my pockets for anything he might have just slipped in there. He can't have just gone…

"Lily! What is this boy to you?" Mum shakes my shoulders.

Why wouldn't he have said goodbye? Surely it's not over. He must be planning to visit me- no, he can't, he doesn't know my address. Why didn't he talk to me properly?

"Lily! Snap out of it!" Mum's angry now. "What on earth is the matter with you? What is this boy to you?"

"He's my boyfriend, Mum, okay? BOYFRIEND!"

Mum sits back, looking shocked. Dad pulls the car over into a lay-by and twists round in his seat.

Silence envelops the car.

"How long?" says Mum quietly. I turn to face the window and she catches my hand, turning me back to look at her. "I said, how long."

"Almost a year," I say defiantly.

"And you never thought to tell us? Not one word about a boyfriend in your letters!"

"I forgot."

"I can't _believe _you, Lily! How _dare_ you!" my Mother rants.

"Calm down, Syl. I'm sure there's a perfectly rational explanation for all this. Tell us, Lily." Dad reaches for my hand, locking it firmly in his.

"I will NOT calm down! My daughter-"

"Sylvia."

Silence.

"Go on, Lily."

"I never meant to deceive or lie to you. I honestly just didn't think to tell you. I was just so caught up in it, so happy, for once-"

She butts in with a hurl of words. "For once?! Do you mean you weren't happy before you met this, this, boy? Do you mean you weren't happy at home? Weren't happy with _us_?"

"Sylvia!"

"I didn't mean _that_. I mean… I don't know, I guess, I was just blinded by it." By love.

"Blinded by what?" Mum says scathingly.

"Shh."

"James has been a hugely important part of my life in the last few months. I just can't understand why he didn't even say goodbye…"

My father clears his throat. "He handed you to us and walked right out of the station. I was watching him, you see, I thought he was a good lad, because he'd looked out for you. I wondered in the way he looked at you… Another lad chased after him, calling him, quite tall, good looking in a posh sort of way. James didn't turn back."

Sirius. "He just kept on going?"

"Looked as if he'd never stop. Lily, I'm sure James will contact you. As you said, it was an emotional day for all you, er, leavers. This will just be his way of dealing with it."

"Shutting himself off from everyone? Sirius? _Me_?" My father fails to realise that I haven't told him everything. James wasn't grieving over parting from Hogwarts. He was angry, venomously angry, at the writer of the letter in my pocket.

"He'll come round, Pumpkin," he says, releasing my hand and twisting back round to start the car. "It'll all blow over."

Mum glares at me and shakes her head. It'll take a while for her to calm down. She's usually quite lenient, but if there's anything she doesn't like, it's a liar.

I stare out of the window, past tears. I need James to be here, to comfort me. I need him to tell me that everything is okay, that it will go back to normal.

But he isn't here, where he belongs, with me. I don't know where he is, but he's angry and most likely seeking revenge. I have to find him.

_Told you it was crap, huh?_


	18. Are You Kidnapping Me?

_Hi guys! I'm so sorry- I've been ages updating, but this is a heck of a long chapter and I had to make sure I got it just right- also I kept changing what I wanted to happen and rewriting it over and over again... but anyway- it's here now. I hope you enjoy it, thanks to all the people who reviewed last time. As always, if you want to, read, enjoy and review! Thanks, Molly x_

**Are You Kidnapping Me?**

I change my mood as soon as we arrive home to as cheerful as possible- especially when I come to see Petunia. I need to make them think that I'm happy to be home.

"Hi, Petunia! Are you okay, Tuney? Had a good year?" I say when I notice her coming down the stairs.

"You're back are you, from the freak school?" she says sourly, walking past me and into the kitchen were mum and dad are talking quietly.

I follow her. "Petunia, don't be like that…"

"Right, I'm off out now, don't know what time I'll be back- I'll call you from his house." She pecks Dad on the cheek and waves at Mum.

"Where are you going?" I ask.

"Petunia, I thought you might like to stay at home the night your sister gets home…" Dad starts.

"Nope, not really, sorry Dad," she elbows me in the ribs as she passes and slings her coat on. "Bye."

"Petunia? Are you meeting Vernon again?" calls Mum.

"Bye!" she slams the door.

Dad sighs. "I thought we might all have a nice meal together tonight- celebrate you being back and all."

"That's okay, Dad…"

Mum seems to have softened up considerably after the chat with Dad. "So are you getting your exam results soon?"

"End of August I think." Another worry.

"You'll have done fine, love," says Dad. "We're proud of you whatever mark you get."

"So, you- er- know all the magic now, then?" asks Mum.

"Umm. I guess so. A lot of it, anyway."

"Could you show us some?" Mum smiles tentatively.

I really don't want to, but I take my wand out of my pocket. "Sure. What do you want to see?"

"Surprise us," Dad says.

I turn the toaster into a rabbit and back again. Mum blinks, and Dad's mouth falls open.

"You can really do it," Mum says slowly, then- "Oh honey, I'm so proud of you- my perfect little girl can do magic! Could you show us more?"

I smile and take a glass from the cupboard, then let it fall to the floor. Mum gasps and Dad shushes. I repair it in the same instant.

"That'll be useful," laughs Dad.

After a few more displays of magic Mum and I retire to the living room while Dad insists on cooking me a special meal.

"So, Lily. This James person- can we meet him?"

"Er- of course. I was planning to introduce you to him at the station, but obviously in my predicament… The only thing is- I don't know how to contact him. I don't have an owl, you see, and that's how post is delivered in, umm, my world."

"Oh, I'd be only _too_ happy to buy you an owl, Lily. You've made us so happy over the years, it's only fair. Shall we go tomorrow?"

Oh damn. There goes my plan. I was going to apparate out of my room tonight and go looking for James- hopefully to be back in a few days. I was going to leave a note for them, saying I left some stuff up at the school and needed to collect it- something like that anyway. I suppose I could spare another day. At least then I could send him an owl. "That'd be lovely. Thanks, Mum."

"That's quite alright, dear. So, tell me about your final year."

I fill her in on the things she'll want to know, leaving out a few minor details like being hospitalised after Snowball Quidditch.

After dinner I go to my room, pretending I'm tired after my long day. I start to unpack, doing it meticulously, making sure everything is in it's proper place. I find the cashmere sweater James got me for Christmas and swap my pyjama top for it. It's not as good as his own arms around me, but it helps. The silver necklace he bought me as around my neck as usual, and I put the everlasting lilies in a vase. The eagle feather quill has pride of place in my pen jar.

I find a lone bit of parchment tied with red ribbon and unfurl it, remembering it was supposed to carry messages of James' love to me.

_Lily,_

_I wonder if you've forgotten about this parchment. I hope not, or otherwise you won't be reading it. I'm banking that Snape does something awful to you on the train today- which will leave you crying so that I can hand you over to your parents and go. You'll probably think that I've gone to seek revenge. No offence- I'd love to- but that's not the reason I'm just going to disappear. I hoping you're reading this at night, but I think you will be. You see, I know you, Lily. Now, the nitty-gritty. Are you laughing at that? I hope so. You're probably crying._

Tears are welling up in my eyes as I smile at the letter. He's right- he does know me.

_Anyway, do you remember the two-way mirrors Sirius gave us at Christmas? One for you and one for me? Well, would you mind digging in your trunk for it now? Knowing you, you've probably started unpacking it already._

I delve deeper into my trunk and find the mirror. I had forgotten about this actually.

_Got it? Good. In a minute, look into it and say my name. NOT YET! First, I have to do what this parchment's designed for. The reasons I love you._

_Lily, I love you because you are pure. You are kind-hearted and honest and you've never done a thing to hurt anyone- except from when you used to hate me- but admittedly, I deserved that. You are gentle and just beautiful- did I tell you that? I'm so lucky to have you, I really am. __**I love you**__._

_Now you can look into the mirror and say my name. Hope it works._

_I love you, James._

I sniff hard and wipe at my face with a tissue before picking up the mirror again. I take a deep breath, and then speak. I feel silly. "James?"

I wait with baited breath and then suddenly I hear his voice. "Lily! I'm so glad you read it!" and his face comes into view. Never have I been so happy to see his face. He grins and I grin back, tears welling up again.

"James! Are you okay? Where are you? What happened today? Can you explain? When can I see you?"

"Lily! Yes! Not telling! I'll explain! Yes! Soon!"

I burst out laughing. "What?"

"Well I just thought I'd answer all your questions… But I'll explain properly now. Okay, so firstly, I'm feeling absolutely stupendous, are you?"

"I'm better, much better, now that I've seen you."

"Good. I'll be telling you where I am in a second. Today- well, I'm really sorry, but I was counting on Snape doing something horrible to you so that I could escape without saying goodbye."

"But- why?"

"Because I had something to do. And, you can see me now, if that's okay? Do you want to? Or are you mad about today?"

"Of course I'm not! Where are you? How can I get to you?"

"I'm coming to pick you up, if that's okay."

"Seriously? Oh Merlin! What about my parents?"

"Don't worry, it's all arranged. They won't even notice you've gone."

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Right, I'm coming from you now, if that's okay. Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay! I can't wait to see you!"

"See you in a minute then!"

"Yes, see you!"

"Lily?"

"Yes?"

"I love you."

"Oh James, I love you too."

I blow a kiss to the mirror and he catches it- then he's gone with a wink.

I scramble to get myself ready. I take my pyjama bottoms off and throw on my jeans, then tug a brush through my hair and brush my teeth. I arrange a body shaped bundle under the bedclothes and perform a charm on it to make it look like it's breathing.

Then I wait. I don't know where I expect him to show up- will there be a knock on my door or will he show up in my room? I'm starting to worry when suddenly I see two grinning faces at my window. I bite back a scream and rush to let them in. James and Sirius clamber off their brooms.

"Hi," Sirius smiles and James pulls me into a hug. I smile into his shoulder.

"Right, Padfoot, now the pleasantries are over, let's get this over with," James says.

"Right-o, Prongs," Sirius says and produces from his pocket the scarf that I had brought James for Christmas.

"What's going on?" I say, backing away from him.

"Sorry, Lily," he says and shoves the scarf over my face. A blindfold.

"James? Sirius? Seriously- what's going on here? This is a joke- right? Well it's not funny. Are you kidnapping me?"

"Don't worry, Lily, it's only temporary," says Sirius.

"Sweetheart, you'll just have to trust us," says James.

"Sweetheart?" says Sirius in a mocking tone.

"What?" says James.

"I thought you only called _me_ that!"

"No, you're honey-bun. Merlin- get it right, Padfoot!"

"Sorry, sugar-plum."

I hear two sets of snickers. "Er- boys? As lovely as that was to hear, I'd like to have the blindfold taken _off_ now." I reach up behind my head and struggle with the knot.

"Lily," says James in a soothing voice, and I feel his hands enclose around mine and pull them away, "you'll never get it undone. It's better just to trust us and come with us."

"Yeah, we'd better get going now."

"Okay, Lily? We're leaving the broomsticks in your room, is that alright?"

"It's fine. Where are we going?"

"That's not you're problem," says Sirius. I can tell he's grinning. It's maddening.

"Right," says James. "Sirius, grab Lily's wand."

"Be careful!" I exclaim.

"Will do." There's a sound of something snapping. "Oops."

"Don't worry Lily- that wasn't your wand. It was a pencil. Right, can you hold onto my hand very tightly? It's side-long apparition for you, I'm afraid."

I squeeze his hand for affirmation.

"Jolly-ho," James says, "let's go!"

The squeezing, sickly feeling surrounds me and we're going. I screw up my eyes and bite my tongue to stop me screaming- then we stop.

"Lily? Are you okay?" asks James.

"Fine. I'd be better if I wasn't blindfolded and knew where we are… but I can't have everything I suppose."

"Good. Sirius? Is everything ready?"

"Yup."

"Right- scoot then."

"Wow- you made sure I know where I'm not wanted sugar-plum!"

"Don't worry honey-bun, we'll see you after."

More snickers. "Sirius? Where are you going?" I call.

"Oh nowhere… don't worry Lils. See you guys later."

"Bye Padfoot."

"Bye! Don't go! Tell me where I am!"

Sirius laughs. "James?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck, mate." James lets go of my hands briefly and I think they're exchanging a "manly" hug. Then there's a pop- and Sirius is gone.

"James… what's going on? Why do you need luck? Tell me where I am!"

"Don't worry Lily. I'm telling you right now."

"Go on then," I say impatiently.

"Okay, Lily, I've brought you to a special place I like to come to think. My grandparents used to live here… they're buried here too. It's called Godric's Hollow."

"Can I see?" I say, still unbeknownst to why James brought me here in the first place.

"Of course," he says and the scarf is pulled away.

I blink- and my eyes focus. It's quite dark, but James has his wand lit, so I can just make out that we're by a pond. There's a drooping willow tree trailing it's branches in the pond, which there are lilies floating on.

"It's beautiful…" I whisper.

"I'm glad you like it."

"…but I still don't understand why you brought me here."

He takes my hand and leads me to the willow tree, and holds aside the branches for me to go underneath the canopy of leaves. There's a patchwork rug and a wicker hamper.

"I thought you might like to have a picnic with me."

"Oh James…" I throw my arms around him, "I would have been happy just to see _you_- you don't have to do all this for me!"

"But I _like _to."

I grin at him and he smiles back, his arms still around me, as I reach up to kiss him.

-

James is leaning back against the tree and I'm leant against him, watching the moon filter through the leaves and just listening to the sound of silence, when he speaks.

"Lily."

"Y-yes?" I'd been dosing off, blissfully happy as I was.

"I've been meaning to ask you something for a while now… I've been waiting for the opportune moment and now it seems that the time is right."

My back stiffens. Surely he can't be about to ask what I think he's going to ask.

"I know we're still relatively young and have only been together for not even a year…"

Oh dear Merlin. No, no, no, no, no. I can't deal with this.

"But I think that because we're both joining the order now, it would be necessary or otherwise we might just fade away from each other and I really couldn't think of anything worse."

"N-neither could I," I stutter.

"So Lily, basically, I just wanted to ask you if you'll consent to…"

He swallows and takes a deep breath as I wait, stunned, for the rest.

_Duh, duh duhhhhh! What do you think?_


	19. Arrangements

_I totally hate this fic- it's written in first person which I now hate to do, it's cheesy and lovey-dovey and the characters have no backbone. The only reason I write it anymore is because of the dedicated reviewers. In the future I may start something similar again, but in third person- not sure though. I decided to give you a chapter as I realised I haven't updated in months, so enjoy._

_Previously in James Vs Severus…_

_"So Lily, basically, I just wanted to ask you if you'll consent to…" He swallows and takes a deep breath as I wait, stunned, for the rest._

**Arrangements**

"Meeting my parents?"

I breathe a sigh of relief and laugh out loud.

"What is it? Don't you want to?"

"Oh, nothing, I just thought… nothing. Of course I want to meet them! I think it's time you met mine too, actually."

"That'd be lovely."

"Hmm. They know about you now, anyway."

"Hadn't you told them?"

"I hadn't thought to. I didn't want them to ruin it."

"Oh, I see." He smiles. "How'd they take it?"

"My mother, not so good, my dad, okay. They've warmed to the idea since, though."

"Phew. My parents love you already."

"_Love_ me? They don't even _know_ me!"

"Lily, you're the only girl I've ever loved. They're obligated to love you too, or otherwise forsake my happiness."

I smile at him. "So when can I?"

"Whenever you like."

"How about Friday? I have to go into Diagon Alley with my mum tomorrow, but I'm completely free Friday. And all weekend. So you could meet my parents at the weekend, too."

"Sounds wonderful."

"Hey- what time is it?" He checks his watch, and frowns. "2 am."

"Really? Oh gosh, James, I'd better be getting back. I need to be up at seven to catch the train into London… Oh, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. There'll be plenty more times like this."

"James- I've had a wonderful time."

"Me too. Just move off the rug a second and I'll pack up."

I stand up clumsily and move to the side, smiling at him.

He rolls up the rug slowly and then looks up at me. "I love you, Lily, you know that, don't you?"

I laugh quietly, rolling my eyes at him and he stands and cups my face in his hands. "I really do, Lily. I really do." He kisses me softly, then bends and picks up the rug.

I spin round in a circle, dazed.

"Er- Lily? You need a wand to apparate." He throws me my wand which I'd thrown carelessly thrown aside.

"I wasn't…"

"I know. I feel like I've been spinning ever since I met you."

I smile at him and he winks. "Shall we get going then?"

"Sure." He takes my hand and we apparate back to my room.

We make the plans for the meeting of the parents and then he hugs me tight and leaves.

I change back into my pyjamas and lay down in my bed, smiling as I drift into sleep.

Mum wakes me up far too early in the morning, stuffs some toast down my throat and we're off. Unfortunately, Petunia's coming too, but boy doesn't she want to. She moans all the way there and trudges round, pretending to be unimpressed at the packed magical shops.

"Right, let's get your owl first then, shall we?"

"No, wait, we've got to go to Gringotts first. You can't use pounds here, mum."

"Oh, of course not. Off we go then."

After we've changed the money- while Petunia gawped unpleasantly at the goblins, we go to buy my owl.

I choose a beautiful snowy white owl, one of the rarest of its kind, the shop owner insists. It nips my finger affectionately from behind the bars of its cage.

When we're back at the house after a very long day, I approach Mum about me going round to James' tomorrow.

She's in the kitchen chopping up vegetables for dinner, listening to her favourite classical music. "Mum?"

She looks up and smiles. I can tell she's enjoyed today, being out just us three again. "What is it, Lily darling?" She turns the radio down.

"You don't have anything planned for tomorrow, do you?" I ask hesitantly.

"No, do you want to do something? We could go for a walk…" Excitement flares in her eyes at the thought of us all out together.

"Well- actually- I was wondering- well- James invited me round to his house to- umm- meet his parents- and I really thought…"

"That's a nice idea. Your father and I would love to meet James."

Oh Merlin, she thinks she's coming too. "Mum-"

"Yes, that would work out nicely. I'll make a cake tonight and we can go for tea tomorrow. You can go and send him a letter from your new owl now then, can't you?"

"Er-"

"I wonder what one must wear when you first meet your daughters boyfriend's parents… especially when they're wizards and you're a, you're a moogle- perhaps there's a book on wizarding etiquette…"

She's not listening to me now, just caught up in her own ramblings, planning outfits and structuring possible compliments.

I trudge heavily up the stairs, wondering whether James will mind if the whole Evans clan end up on his doorstep tomorrow.

I quickly write out a letter explaining everything and send it off with my owl, who I decided to name Rowena, beautiful and clever founder of Ravenclaw house. If it was a boy, it would have been Godric, obviously, but I did always admire the quiet intelligence of the Ravenclaws at Hogwarts. The sorting hat even considered sending me there…

_"Evans, Lily!"_

_I stumbled forwards and put the hat on my head shakily._

_"A muggle-born… hmm…"_

I remember being very angry at that statement, and hoped it wouldn't affect my chances of getting into a good house.

_"You seem very intelligent, no doubt- and yet so loyal and kind-hearted- either a Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff would suit you well… Oh- wait- there are great sacrifices ahead for you- extreme bravery- utter selflessness… no choice but to put you in the house you deserve… GRYFFINDOR!"_

_I caught Severus' eye as I took the hat off and made my way to the cheering Gryffindor table and smiled apologetically, mouthing "I'm sorry"._

I smile at the memory. Gryffindor had certainly suited me well, providing me with good friends, good opportunities, and of course, James.

A sharp tap on the window breaks me from my reverie, and I rush to let Rowena in, who has a reply tied to her leg. I stroke her beautiful white feathers as I read the letter.

_Lily,_

_I don't mind in the slightest if your whole family want to come; the more the merrier- but I know you probably do mind, so if you want to say that only you're invited, I don't mind. I would, however, love to meet your parents and charming sister, and we may as well kill two birds with one stone and meet them all together. Just an idea- but you can decide- whatever you want, I want, and I'll do my best to provide it._

_You- with or without your family- can come around 11 tomorrow if you like; my mum wants to serve lunch in the garden with a "friendly" match of wizard boules. I don't think you'll have ever played it so I'll understand if you don't want to. Perhaps if you have a muggle set of boules you could bring it and we could try your version. _

_Love, love, everlasting love,_

_James_

_xxx_

He's so lovely. He seems to genuinely want to meet my family- even though I told him about their initial reactions concerning our relationship- so I guess I'll have to take them with me. I put the letter on my desk and take out a book on wizarding games, hoping to learn a little about wizard boules before I am forced to play it.

**Gah. Soo cheesy.**


End file.
